American Bred REDONE Episode 8: The Child I Once Was
by American Companion
Summary: When Kathryn was yanked through the Rift four months back, something came through with her. Now it's lashing out, bringing Kathryn's past with it and threatening her newfound family...and the Doctor.
1. Chapter 1

The alarm-clock under the glass dome went off at seven. The vibrations pulled a string running out the base of the dome, which pulled the pin on a small trebuchet. The swinging arm let loose a Ping-Pong ball that gently rolled to a stop as it bumped the beginning of a domino line. The line split as it came to a ramp, one line going up and the other continuing along the floor.

The line going up knocked a thin piece of metal off of its balance, making it turn on a CD player. The song "Trouble is a Friend" by the artist Lenka started playing loudly through the basement archives of TORCHWOOD.

Josephine Cole, TORCHWOOD's resident crazy lady in the basement—at least until she could contact the Doctor again—was singing along with the song, albeit a little off key.

"Trouble he will find you no matter where you go, oh oh. No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow, oh oh. The eye of the storm or the cry in the mourn, oh oh. You're fine for a while but you start to lose control."

The lower line of dominos continued on its merry way, the last one pulling a piece of thread which in turn pulled a small piece of wood which allowed a marble to roll down a track. The marble added weight to a balance, flipping a switch. The switch turned on a remote control car that went straight forward, knocking over a book that knocked over a larger book that knocked over an even larger book which pulled a cable that was attached to a door knob, effectively opening a wardrobe door.

The first chorus of the song had started playing while Josephine pulled on a hoodie, ignoring the rest of the Rube-Goldberg machine that was making her breakfast while she sang, knowing no one could hear her, nor would they much care if they did.

"He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart. He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part. Trouble is a friend yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!"

A receiver picked up the pitch of the radio and sent a signal to a heat pulse emitter, frying an egg and two slices of turkey bacon. The pan tilted and the contents slid in between two slices of cheese toast, already laid out in a sandwich maker that closed.

"Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe, oh oh. And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow, oh oh. He sees what I see and he knows what I know, oh oh. So don't forget as you ease on down the road."

Josephine plopped into a rolling chair, shoving off of the edge of the closet with her foot, grabbing a neon watch-cap from a shelf as she passed it, spinning all the while. She'd been up all night as usual, and was glad for the day to start and break the monotony.

"He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart. He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part. Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh. So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm. I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm. Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh."

Josephine stepped from the rolling chair as it stopped in front of the cupboard she'd thrown her two pairs of shoes, gesturing grandly as she acted with the music.

"Oh how I hate the way he makes me feel. And how I try to make him leave, I try. Oh oh, I try!"

Knowing she'd only be in the TORCHWOOD Three Hub today, she slid into a pair of flip-flops. Sitting back in the rolling chair, Josephine spun her way over to her chemical work station to claim her breakfast, singing around the food to meet the words at two minutes and forty seconds.

"But he's there in the dark, he's there in my heart, he waits in the wings he's gotta play a part." She continued eating while claiming a disc that had been burning for the last hour, mumbling around her food.

"Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!"

Josephine did a quick check in a small mirror before going up the to the main level, finishing the last of her breakfast Panini and continuing the singing.

"So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm. I won't let him win but I'm a sucker for his charm. Trouble is a friend yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!"

She did a few side steps up the stairs as the music finished, coming out onto the main level just as Ianto Jones walked up, holding out a mug of black coffee. Josephine took it, nodding thanks. He smiled lightly in jest.

"Should be strong enough for you; the horseshoe was floating this morning."

Josephine drank some of the coffee and sniffed. Her Texan accent was evident as she said, "Made of rubber or iron? Keep at it though; nearly there."

"It's from the percolator you insisted I purchase," Ianto replied in kind, knowing full well Josephine was beyond pleased with the coffee.

"You aren't using it right then," Josephine said sweetly.

"Just cause you're the only one who prefers her coffee be the consistency of mud," Gwen Cooper interjected, her thick Welsh an interesting contrast to Josephine's voice. "Did you finish that write up on the transport that came through two nights back?"

"Check your e-mail," Josephine told her. "Medic popped in yet?"

"I swear Tex, call me that one more time…" Owen Harper said as he walked past, throwing his coat over the same railing he always did. "Got me that disc?"

Josephine tossed it to him like a Frisbee. He caught it without looking up, ignoring her as she retorted. "I'll stop calling you Medic when you stop calling me by my home state."

"You did start it Jo," Toshiko Sato reminded Josephine as she sat down at her desk. Josephine smiled and plopped down next to her, setting her mug on a coaster. Josephine asked something in Japanese, an expression of hope in her eyes. Tosh smiled gently and shook her head, answering in the same language. Josephine shrugged and Tosh reassured her with something.

"It'd be an awful lot easier if the two of you would use English like the rest of us," Captain Jack Harkness said as he emerged from his office, reading from a folder in his hand. He paused by Josephine and gave her a look. "If I check, I won't find a single air soft bead or piece of bubble wrap anywhere, will I?"

"Do I ever leave a piece of Tuesday to work its way into a Wednesday?" Josephine defended herself. "I keep time in a very strict order, thank you."

"I'm sure the Doctor would say the same," Jack said dryly. He frowned. "How's the signal coming anyway?"

Josephine rolled her eyes. "That's what Toshiko and I were talking about before you so rudely interrupted. You'll have to be patient, because you can't send me back yet. It's five totally different pieces of technology all coming together to make one piece of equipment." She turned back to Tosh. "Meanwhile, I got this idea last night about increasing our satellite range and accuracy, as well as signal triangulation in general. I think that with some work we could track and locate everything that comes through the Rift within feet, maybe even inches."

"You'll have to do that when you get back," Jack told her. "Get changed; you're coming with us."

"Come again?"

"Ditch the flip-flops and hoodie, Jo," Jack said, smiling. "You finally get your wish. I'll let you do a field run."

"Seriously?"

"You've been here for four months. I think you're clear. Just make sure you O.D. or something. I want you in total control of that energy craving, got me?"

Josephine grinned and dashed back downstairs. Owen and Gwen watched her go before turning to Jack.

"Jack, you can't be serious," Gwen started. "She's not the most stable twenty-three year old, or trained for what we do."

"Are you really going to let her outside with a gun?" Owen asked, tone heavily sardonic as always.

"She's better with a revolver than you are with a semi-automatic Owen," Jack reminded him.

"I'm more worried that she'll eat someone."

"Relax," Jack said. "She's been to other planets. This is more or less a routine run for us. I think we can handle her."

"We have a routine?" Ianto asked. Jack gave him a look as he went back to his office for his coat.

* * *

Josephine came back out top ten minutes later, getting odd looks from everyone. Jack spun his hand, having her rotate.

"How long have you been bootlegging U.S. crime shows in the basement?" Jack asked her.

"A month or so. Why? It's not that different from the stuff you guys wear."

"Except for the Sturgis motorcycle patch on the back of the leather jacket." He shrugged. "At least you aren't carrying a machete."

"I can go get one."

"No."

"Fine. I can still have the seven-shot revolver, yes?"

"Yes."

"You do know that TORCHWOOD is a secret organization," Owen pointed out. Josephine raised her eyebrows.

"Then it wasn't you who put the name on the van, or on the equipment boxes?"

Gwen snickered. "She's got a point."

"I was talking about the head gear," Owen snipped back.

"I like my headband, peacock feathers and all."

"Just get in the car," Jack said. "We're already late."

"What are we late for?"

"Writing on the wall. I hope the sight of blood doesn't bother you."

* * *

"There was a murder at the David Morgan Apartments just off Baker's Row," Jack explained to Josephine on the way. Just being outside the Hub was cause for excitement, and she was having problems paying attention. "Mother, father, and two children, all dead. The neighbors said that it looked as though the residents were killed either by a mirage, a tall man in a suit, or a teenage boy."

"Well that's helpful."

"Extremely."

"Why does TORCHWOOD care about this?" Josephine asked.

"Besides the conflicting descriptions of the killer," Jack said, "the TORCHWOOD logo was painted on the wall with blood, among other things. We were called in to check it out."

"Supposed to be horrible, blood all over the walls, organs missing." Owen said from the front. "Can't wait to see it myself."

"You're sick Owen," Gwen rebuked him. "A family was murdered and you want to see organs and dead bodies?" She glanced at Josephine. "And stop making it worse than it probably is."

Josephine bit her lip, deciding not to confess she was thinking the same thing that Owen was. Gwen was the only one from TORCHWOOD Three that still had a life outside the Rift, Josephine included.

They pulled up outside a basic apartment building, flashing lights and police tape everywhere. Josephine was certain everyone could tell she hadn't done this before, even as she fell in step with Gwen, Owen and Jack, her face as blank as theirs were.

"Don't throw up on the crime scene," one of the regular police said as they started up the stairs.

"We'll keep it in mind Andy," Gwen said, hardly looking at him.

"Ex-boyfriend of yours?" Josephine teased. Gwen glanced at her.

"Co-worker."

"Ick."

Jack opened the apartment door, stepping inside with the rest of the group close behind him.

"How long have they been dead?" Josephine coughed, gagging on the smell. No one else seemed bothered.

"Ah, that's just the bowels," Owen told her cheerfully, enjoying her discomfort. "They relax after death and all that mess comes out."

Josephine gave him a glare as Gwen and Jack continued further into the living room. She turned and followed when she heard Gwen swear.

Josephine felt her stomach turn over and she nearly lost her breakfast. It was like the most graphic horror movie of all time, but it was real. Organs and limbs were stacked neatly in the corners, huge lacerations on what was left of the bodies showing that they had died in pain. Blood had been used to paint and write all over the walls. The sick part of that was that the pictures were wonderfully done, as if by a master artist, and the words were in calligraphy. It was as though whoever had done this had only regarded the family simply as pots of red ink for their horrendous work.

"What sort of sick bastard would do this?" Gwen asked. Jack shook his head.

"I don't know. But I'll be damned if I don't get my answers. Treat it like a crime scene, I want photographs of everything." He turned and looked at Josephine, worried. "You feeling alright?"

"No. Most decidedly not."

"Step outside and take a breath."

Josephine nodded, following Jack's order. She steadied herself on the railing, inhaling deeply through her nose.

"First crime scene?" the officer from before, the one Gwen had called Andy, asked.

She nodded shakily. "Yeah. Yeah, first one. Didn't think it would look like that. I've seen dead people before, but not…not like that."

Josephine heard the curious frown in the man's voice. "Are you American?"

"Yeah. Texas."

"How'd you get over here?"

She straightened, inhaling. "Long story. I should get back inside."

"Don't be ashamed of it," Andy said, trying to comfort her. "Several of our guys threw up."

"Thanks."

Josephine went back inside, bracing herself. She could hear Gwen talking to Jack about the drawing on the wall.

"Look at the center here. It's a bunch of initials and names." Josephine's feet stopped moving of their own will as Gwen read them off. "G.A.O., K.T.M., Kavrin, and Wilma Deering."

"Wilma Deering?" Owen asked as Josephine started walking again. "Wasn't that Buck Roger's girlfriend in the comics?"

"Send Tosh a message, get her running them. If they're at the literal center of this, I want to know who they are." Jack turned towards the door, looking at Josephine. "If you're alright, I want you to try and figure out what the rest of this mess says. We have about ten words in English, the rest is in some sort of rune-like language." Jack frowned at Josephine. "What is it?"

"It's me."

"What?"

She ignored him, stepping around the gore and walking closer to the design on the wall, blood draining from her face.

The whole thing was arranged as a circle. Gang signs she knew didn't come from Cardiff. A molecular structure for a powerful mind-altering drug. Initials belonging to people she tried to forget or knew were dead. A date that had passed twice for her now, once from her life as a human and once while she was part of TORCHWOOD. Faces that belonged only in her mind. Lines and lines of writing. Off to the side, almost as an afterthought, was the TORCHWOOD 'T'. All of this swirled around the names Gwen had read off.

"Jo, if you know what this is…"

"It's me," she repeated, her voice distant. "All of this. But who would know about…" She turned and a streak caught her eye. Disregarding any rule about disturbing a crime scene, she pushed a bookcase over, revealing a new picture. Clapping a hand to her mouth she let out a horrible half-strangled gasp.

"Jo, tell me what is going on?"

"The Doctor. The Doctor's in danger."

"Explain."

Josephine was trembling, but Jack's tone brooked no argument. She pointed at the picture. "It's the console room, the TARDIS console room. A person standing by it. And this sentence." She drew her hand along a bunch of symbols that matched the writing in the circle. "It's…it's a code I invented, to use with my brother." She looked up at Jack, eyes filled with frantic worry. "Guess who's next?"

Jack's face set and he grabbed Josephine's arm, pulling her outside. "Okay, I need you to talk faster. What's going on?"

"I don't know," Josephine said, not looking at Jack, her eyes danced across the street. "I only know…" Her eyes widened. "Doctor."

"Jo, focus on the here and now."

Josephine ignored Jack. Seeming to forget the stairs, she jumped over the railing, landing on her feet and taking off running.

"Doctor!"

Jack didn't bother watching her. He pulled out his phone, swearing as he speed-dialed the Hub.

"Tosh, I want you to drop whatever you're doing and finish that homing signal."

"What?"

"I know you've been delaying on purpose, but we need to get ahold of the Doctor. Jo's loose and she just had an emotional shock. Have Ianto start looking for her energy signature. That might help, but it's no guarantee. She's had too long to study maps and learn her way around the city during outings. We won't catch her without the Doctor helping us. Now get it done!"


	2. Chapter 2

Josephine ran, trying to catch up with the Doctor as he walked quickly through back alleys and streets. He was leading her somewhere, but why wouldn't he let her catch up? It didn't matter; he would have a good reason.

Finally she rounded a corner and pulled to a stop. There he stood, that man she had longed for daily, thought of hourly. The man with the blue box, her best friend in all of time and space, the one man she could ever trust. He grinned at her, obvious delight on his features and she knew that somehow, everything would turn out alright.

Pin-stripes had never looked so good.

"Hello Kathryn," he said, the smile reaching his eyes. "It's good to see you again."

She sprang forward, wrapping him in a hug. It had been months since someone had called her that, since she'd thought of herself as 'Kathryn.' The Doctor seemed a little startled at the show of affection, but returned it.

"Since when do you hug people?"

"Shut up and be happy about it," Kathryn told him, sinking into the feeling of safety he always carried with him. After another moment she let go. "Doctor, we have to get back to where I saw you. There was this…this painting on the wall, in blood, and it was a threat for you but it was also about me, and there's been this thing that keeps showing up all the time and I think it came through the Rift when I did and it's reading my memories or something—"

"Kathryn, slow down," the Doctor said softly, setting a hand on the side of her face with the other gripping her upper arm. Kathryn started to pull back, pushing against his chest. It was uncharacteristic of him to invade her space like that. His grip tightened, keeping her still.

Kathryn noticed two things at once. The first was that his hand was freezing cold, like there was no blood in it. The other was that there was an energy transfer occurring. That never happened. Kathryn absorbed energy from everyone and everything, but for unknown reasons the Doctor had never been affected by it. But now she was…she was…_trading_ energy with him, like it was flowing in both directions.

"Doctor, I don't understand."

"Don't worry Kathryn," the Doctor said with a smile. "Everything's going the way I planned it."

Finally, it clicked. "You aren't the Doctor."

She inhaled sharply as the energy started flowing out of her. The sensation hurt and scared her. Kathryn started struggling but whoever this really was they were stronger than Kathryn.

"What are you?" Kathryn asked, having trouble thinking. Her mind felt fuzzy and she couldn't quite grab hold of any one thought.

"I'm you, Kavrin/Deering." His voice hiccupped between the two names as though not sure which one he was supposed to use. "I'm all your thoughts and memories and feelings and I will have them." His eyes bored into hers, hard and cold. "Give them to me. Give me his."

Kathryn smelled blood, the hole under her fingers where the heart belonged confirming it. Her gaze focused on the center of the man's forehead where a bloody hole, just the right size for a bullet, materialized. Kathryn started shaking as she looked at his face, knowing who she would see.

"You're dead," she whispered hoarsely. "You're dead." A strange, deep burning started in the pit of her stomach, something that was one part anger, one part fear, and one part grief.

"You're dead!"

Jerking her head forward Kathryn brought it cracking against her attacker's. His grip on her face loosened slightly and she snapped her head sideways, latching onto his thumb and biting down hard. He pulled back with a cry of pain and Kathryn ended up ripping his thumb off. Nearly falling over herself she turned and ran, stuffing the thumb in her jacket pocket without really thinking.

* * *

At the TORCHWOOD Hub, Tosh looked proudly and sadly at the finished computer chip, now fully functional and broadcasting. Josephine had shown up with a burnt out one in a wallet when she first appeared four months back. It had been something that Tosh hadn't even made yet, so temporally her newly finished creation and the original one were the same thing. It was truly a brilliant piece of work, no one could deny it. Five different species, five different times, and five different planets all mashing together to make a tracking and homing device. There was only one possible signal it could send out, one she hoped the Doctor was scanning for, somehow. Though Jack had called in that Josephine had seemed to know who was behind the murder, she was running wild, terrified, and most likely charged since she had left the apartment. This Doctor she spoke so highly of was probably their only chance to calm her down.

These thoughts took only a second to cross Tosh's mind. In the next instant, a wind started up inside the Hub, accompanied by a wheezing sound. Tosh and Ianto both looked down towards the pool at the building's base. A blue box that looked rather like a phone booth faded into view in time with the wheezing noise. With the sound of a final thud, the door swung open and a tall, thin man in a purple pin-stripe suit dashed out, staring frantically about. His eyes landed on Tosh and Ianto and he bounded up the stairs to the small pavilion the computers sat on, his trench coat flaring out behind him.

"Where is she?"

"Are you the Doctor?" Ianto asked as he stood, calm as ever in his suit.

"Yes. Where's Kathryn?"

Ianto and Tosh shared a glance, one the man did not miss. "Where is she?" he demanded, his voice taking on a harsh edge.

The front door hissed open as Jack, Gwen, and Owen came in. Jack smiled briefly when he saw the Doctor, then his face sobered.

"Your friend Josephine Cole is running loose in my city, and I'm not happy."

"I don't know anyone named Josephine, Jack," the Doctor said. Jack frowned and Tosh spoke up.

"What about the names and initials you sent me from the mural, the one Jo said was about her?" she said, voice shaking lightly as always. "They didn't turn anything up except for kavrin, which is actually a—"

"Kavrin," the Doctor confirmed. "That was a nickname she had when she was human. Where is Kathryn?"

"We don't know," Jack said. "Ianto, have you found her signal yet?"

"I'm not sure. If I have, she's moving very fast."

"I'm not surprised. Gwen, get those pictures printed. I want a good look at them. Tosh, run everything you can on it; symbols, dates, names, faces. I want to know the story behind it."

"Jack, what's going on?"

Jack turned to the Doctor. "Your friend has been living here for the past four months."

"Here?" the Doctor repeated, concerned. "On top of the Rift?"

"Yes, on top of the Rift in the middle of the energy, we know. Trust me, every Tuesday we would know. She's been asking for a field run for two months and I let her come on what I thought would be a more or less routine trip. Instead—"

"You let a fifteen year old American ball of energy go out into Cardiff?"

Every face registered shock. "She said she was twenty-three!" Tosh protested. The Doctor looked irritated.

"She can't possibly look it."

"Not the problem right now Doctor," Jack interrupted. "The fact is that she came with us, and instead of a boring trip we got a full wall mural in blood and she went running off yelling your name like she was following you."

"Sir," Ianto interrupted. "She's outside the door."

The large circular door hissed as it rolled aside. Josephine walked in looking bedraggled and worn. The Doctor grinned in relief, glad to see her even in that state.

"Kathryn."

Her head jerked up, eyes suddenly wide with panic. They narrowed in anger as she swiftly drew her revolver, pointing it at him. Everyone stood, talking at once.

"Jo, what are you doing?"

"Kathryn, what is it?"

"Jo, it's the Doctor!"

"Jo, take a breath and put the gun down."

Josephine tilted the gun up slightly and fired once, the report of the gun silencing everyone. "Shut it!" she hissed. "My name is Kathryn Trouble Moore, and the only reason I haven't shot this bastard through the head and heart is it probably wouldn't do a hell of a lot of good. Now back away from him!" She glared at the Doctor. "You in the stripes, keep your entire self where I can see it."

"Kathryn, is shooting someone how you say hello where you come from?" the Doctor asked rhetorically. "Because this is the second time we've been through this."

"I don't want to hear it," Kathryn snapped. "You tried to drain my head ten minutes ago, and then you started to shape shift. Who in the blue blazes are you?"

"Kathryn, it's me. The Doctor, one and only."

"Bullshit."

"Don't swear; it's not becoming."

"I don't give a damn what you think, you son of a bitch. Faking being the Doctor is bad enough, but I draw the line at Buck."

"Who's Buck?"

A bullet whizzed past his head, nicking the top of his ear. "Don't mock me, creature," Kathryn growled. "I'm tired, confused, and have a grudge against you, so I'm getting a little trigger happy."

"I thought the Doctor was a friend of yours," Jack said accusingly.

"I am," the Doctor said, eyes never leaving Kathryn's. He studied her for a moment before speaking carefully. "Kathryn, when you saw me earlier, did you see the TARDIS?"

"TARDIS," Kathryn corrected quickly. "She's just TARDIS, and no I didn't."

The Doctor smiled at her correction, then continued. "Then if you saw TARDIS, you'd at least give me a chance to speak?"

Kathryn watched him for a moment. "Sparky, I'm going to grant one of your biggest wishes. I need you to hold that thing's hand for a moment and tell me if it's cold."

"Sparky?" the Doctor asked, turning around. Jack was giving Kathryn a look.

"That's me. Give me your hand."

The Doctor looked at Kathryn askance as Jack squeezed his hand and then let it go. "I'm going to get you back for that one."

"Was it cold?" Kathryn asked sharply.

"No more than any other hand I've held," Jack shrugged.

Kathryn seemed to relax. "Toshiko, is the chip finished?" she asked gently. The Doctor picked up on the change in tone as the Japanese woman who'd spoken earlier said,

"Yes Jo. I added the last bits after you ran off. What's wrong?"

"Did the blue box come?" Kathryn asked, starting to shake almost too lightly to see.

"Yes. She sounded like a machine breathing, the way you said."

"Where is she?"

"Down by the pond."

Kathryn swallowed, edging over to where she could see. She glanced down below, back to the Doctor, down at the TARDIS, then focused on the Doctor. He stepped towards her slowly.

"Kathryn, I'm not sure who you saw before," he said gently. "But it is me." He smiled. "I swear by Floyd's roots."

Kathryn finally broke, laughing. The giggling quickly dissolved into tears for a moment before she regained control of herself, putting the gun back into her holster and motioning the Doctor away. "I don't do hugs Doctor."

"Jo—Kathryn, whatever your name is," Jack said walking towards her, "I want answers—starting with who you are—and I want you to turn over that gun."

"As to the second, I'm holding onto it." She swallowed, blinking as she looked at Jack. "As to the first, Kathryn T. Moore is a name I gave myself, and I'm fifteen and eight months old." Kathryn fixed her eyes on the Doctor. "Since you're here, I want to know what this is."

Everyone except the Doctor pulled back slightly when Kathryn produced a thumb from her pocket.

"Oh, Jo!" Gwen complained. "Please tell me you didn't pick that up from the apartment."

"Were they humans?" the Doctor asked, putting on his glasses and peering at the thumb. "These dead people of yours."

"Yes," Owen confirmed.

"Then no, she didn't get it there." The Doctor pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, using it to protect his hand as he took the thumb from Kathryn, inspecting it. "Where did you get it?" he asked.

"I bit it off whatever was pretending to be you."

"High tolerance for liars you have there."

Kathryn's mouth twitched. "More of mimicry."

"We're you getting anything from it?"

"Not really. It's more like a wire between my fingers; energy travels right through it."

The Doctor nodded absently. "Is there a lab around here somewhere? And I'll probably need you to slit your wrist again Kathryn."

"I've got one in the basement," Kathryn said with a nod. "If you're missing something I'm sure we could find it in the archives."

"Time!"

Kathryn and the Doctor turned back to Jack, who they had nearly forgotten was even there. "What's up Sparky?"

"I still don't have all my answers. Doctor, great to see you again, have fun with your thumb, use whatever you need. Jo, I want you to go through the mural pictures and tell me exactly what everything means. If something is crawling around Cardiff slaughtering people and you know about it—"

"When I was making the journey through the Rift four months ago, something that lived there latched onto me," Kathryn interrupted. She spoke as though if she didn't get it all out at once she never would. "Wasn't sure what it was or even if it was real. I think it's been slowly feeding off of my mind—energy, memories, thoughts, emotions, whatever—and it was tired of snacking so it brought me out of the basement. That means that the mural story isn't actually pertinent; it was solely for the reason of getting me upset before offering me a chance to get away and thus cornering me. Thus the important part right now is to figure out how the heck I can hold a dismembered body part without sucking all the energy out of it and turning it to dirt." She took a deep breath. "Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to do just that."

Walking past the Doctor she took the thumb back, heading for the basement. The Doctor didn't follow, watching her go.

"Certainly pleased to see you, wasn't she?"

The Doctor nodded, ignoring Owen's tone. "Has she been inside for the entire, what, four months you said?"

"Yes and no," Jack answered. "Usually she's out and about on Mondays."

"Why Mondays?"

The Doctor could see the hidden smiles that everyone had. "Because of Tuesdays," Gwen answered.

"What happens on Tuesday?"

"Anything and everything," Jack grinned. "She decided her first week here that Tuesday was prank day."

The Doctor smiled knowingly. "What sort of things has she done?"

"Light redirecting nanobots."

"American Independence Day Decorations…for Saint Patrick's Day."

"Live animals in my office."

"A salt water aquarium with a squid in it."

"Waist deep play-pen balls."

"Iced floors."

"Neon colored soap in the fountain."

"Laser shows."

The Doctor looked down at the door Kathryn had gone through. "She's been on the edge of insanity for the entire four months, hasn't she?"

"Yes she has."

"Why didn't you create the signal sooner?"

There was a hesitation before Tosh said, "I couldn't finish it sooner."

The Doctor looked at her steadily. She glanced away and Jack stepped in for her.

"We didn't push very hard to get the signal chip made Doctor. At first it was suspicion of what she was, general caution over the Rahki."

"And then?"

Gwen spoke up. "We grew attached to her. She's a tremendous girl to have around."

The Doctor seemed ready to rebuke them, then nodded. "She is. I'll go speak with her. I'm sure you can do…whatever it is you do without my help."

"Doctor."

The Doctor turned back around, looking at Gwen. "Yes?"

"Is Jo really fifteen?"

He smiled. "Yes. She really is fifteen."


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor walked down two flights of stairs before coming into an immense storage room, one he couldn't see the back of. Close to the front was a conglomeration of work stations; chemical, clerical, and mechanical. Not seeing Kathryn he walked in a little bit, looking off to the sides. On the right was a makeshift living area; closet, kitchenette, a small bookshelf, pieces of what used to be a Rube-Goldberg device, and a futon couch.

Spotting a back and a head of cedar hair on the couch, the Doctor walked over, sitting on the other side. He frowned at Kathryn.

"Are you smoking?"

"It's an electronic cigarette," Kathryn mumbled without looking up from the notebook she was writing in. "I fill mine with various poisons and diseases. Helps me burn energy, and when I burn it I crave it less, and then I don't try going vampire on Jack or anyone else. Mostly Jack. He's so stuffed with time energy that I can see it without closing my eyes."

"There wasn't some kind of alternative to a fake cigarette?"

"The candies I tried making tasted really, really bad, all except for coconut, but that one reminded me more of palm oil, so I left them alone. I'm not a fan of needles as you know, and drinking the isopropyl and acid mix hurt my throat. Besides, I'm so stuffed with power that I charge it while I'm using it."

Kathryn closed the notebook and took the electronic cigarette from her mouth, sighing as she leaned back and closed her eyes.

"You look tired," the Doctor observed.

"I am," Kathryn replied, sounding like she was near exhaustion. "I'm very, very tired." She inhaled deeply, eyes twitching under her eyelids.

The Doctor frowned again. "Have they kept you down here?"

"I've kept me down here. I give myself Tuesdays, but otherwise…" She opened her eyes, setting a hand on the notebook and taking a drag from her electronic cigarette. Still sounding as though she was holding back tears of exhaustion she kept talking, not looking at the Doctor. "I'm tired of being in one place. I'm tired of having to be in constant control of myself. I'm tired of feeling my sanity being eaten away, and I'm tired of this thing that constantly talks in my head. I'm tired of being Josephine Cole, whoever she is. I'm tired of rhythm and office jobs and archives and Cardiff and the same five people and the same building every single day. I'm tired of going nowhere and doing nothing."

She looked over at him, eyes faintly accusing. "You know, this is your fault in a way."

"What'd I do?"

"I used to live like that, all rhythm and day jobs and days with no difference, and I thought nothing of it. Then this lunatic in a blue time machine told me he'd teach me to fly it."

"Which you still need to work on," the Doctor reminded her, teasing lightly. He looked pointedly at the standard notebook. "What are you writing?"

"It's a log," Kathryn told him, handing it over. "Every time whatever the thing is showed up or spoke to me, I wrote a detailed account. I was looking for some kind of pattern, something to indicate when it showed."

The Doctor flipped through it, noting the dates. "This is only the last month."

"I know. I have three others in my desk. He popped up a lot, starting from the first hour I was here."

"Did he ever say why?"

"No. Just…caused panic. Reminded me of things. People. Stuff I've done."

"Any specifics?"

"Nothing I feel like sharing."

"The stuff in the blood mural I have yet to see."

"Yeah. Pretty much." Kathryn inhaled deeply, running her hand down her face. She took out the e-cigarette and wrinkled her nose at it.

"I need to find something stronger than Rencor."

"You're using Rencor?" the Doctor said with worry. "Isn't that the one where pus and blood starts oozing out of every pore and most of the victims end up vomiting their stomach up?"

"Yeah. Not strong enough." She stood, rolling her shoulders. "Give me a minute; I need a refill."

"Hold a moment."

Kathryn stopped, wincing as she remembered she was wearing a tank-top, making the space between her shoulder blades visible.

"Is that…is that a tattoo?" the Doctor asked incredulously.

"If I say no, will you believe me?"

"What else did you do while everyone thought you were twenty-three?"

"Jack let me drink Thala."

"Kathryn! That stuff is 400 proof!"

"I didn't have a lot," Kathryn defended herself. "I might be from wine country, but that stuff is closer to rubbing alcohol than Chardonnay."

"Why would you do something like that?"

"What? It's a compliment that they thought I was older."

"Kathryn…really?" The Doctor sighed and pulled out his sonic, fiddling with the setting and turning it on Kathryn's back. "I don't even want to know what the artist said when you asked for this design."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Kathryn, it's the rattlesnake flag from the American Revolution."

"Yeah, I did get a few looks. You'd think after beating them twice they'd stop feeling so sore."

"I think you've been here too long. TORCHWOOD's a bad influence," the Doctor said as he finished removing the tattoo and put the sonic screwdriver away. "You didn't used to be like this."

"Cabin fever does things to you."

"We can always leave," the Doctor said. "I doubt the thing would follow you."

"And then what?" Kathryn asked, turning and giving him a look. "We leave it to do whatever it pleases? I don't think so. There's something specific about me and my brain that it wants, and I don't want more dead just because I deny something a meal." She turned, heading to her work spaces. "Now come on; we have a thumb to dissect."

* * *

About two hours later, Ianto came down the steps carrying a tray with two steaming cups and two file folders. Kathryn looked up when he came in, smiling slightly. The Doctor continued staring into one of the microscopes.

"Mr. Jones," Kathryn said with a nod. She got up and took the tray from him, setting it on her desk and looking curiously at the folders. "These are…"

"One is the medical file Owen has been painstakingly creating on you," Ianto said with a hint of humor in his voice. Kathryn smiled as she picked up the folders.

"I'd be disappointed if Medic didn't have one. And the other is…" Her voice trailed off as she opened it. "Oh."

"I thought you'd want to see what we found."

"I see."

The Doctor finally looked up, noticing Kathryn's tone and body language as Ianto continued.

"The translation of that code you made…it hinted at things that didn't quite make sense."

"Personal viewpoint and blame," Kathryn explained, a little too quickly to the Doctor's thinking.

"We thought as much," Ianto said with a nod. "Found anything yet?"

"Not really," the Doctor said. "Except that either this person is made of energy, doesn't exist, or is made out of brain cells."

"All three?"

"They take turns."

"Chinese."

Ianto and the Doctor both looked at Kathryn oddly. She was frowning slightly. "I feel like we should order Chinese in for lunch. Or dinner. Mr. Jones, do you mind putting that in as my vote whenever it is that you people up top start ordering in?"

"No problem." He nodded and left. The Doctor looked at Kathryn.

"I'm not sure if that was formal or not."

"Pardon?"

"Everyone else seems to have a nickname, but he's Mr. Jones. What's his first name?"

Kathryn walked back over to the Doctor, handing him the mug of tea and keeping the coffee for herself. "Ianto Jones. Officially he's the man who cleans things up, manages the archives and records, and generally serves as butler slash door monitor."

"And unofficially?"

"He's the most important and dangerous member of the team."

"Why's that?" the Doctor asked.

"He's too quiet, too clever, and too well composed to be anyone else. I wouldn't cross him for anything."

The Doctor nodded as he absorbed the information, sitting down and still watching Kathryn carefully. "What about the others?"

"What about them?"

"I guess you could say I'm checking up on the people who've been acting as your chaperones for four months."

Kathryn smiled teasingly at him, sitting on the counter of the mechanical station she had. "Want to see what bad habits I picked up?"

"Something like that," the Doctor smiled. Kathryn drank more coffee before speaking.

"Owen Harper. I call him Medic. He's technically a doctor and whatever else, but he's got a sardonic streak as wide as the Colorado River. Great for a word battle, fantastic fun to pick on. I'd trust him in a scrap, wiry as he is.

"Gwen Cooper, Gwyneth. Connection to the police department. Team conscience, only one out of the six of us with a life outside these walls. Would not want to have her pointing a gun at me, but otherwise good to have around.

"Toshiko Sato. Everyone else calls her Tosh, but I prefer her real name. Brilliant as can be, needs a bit of work on her confidence. My personal favorite to hang out with. Not much of a fighter, which is good."

"What about Jack?"

Kathryn smiled at the Doctor. "Sparky? Very odd, hard to figure out. Protective of his team, has sort of succeeded in his goal of modeling this place after you. Still a little rough around the edges, but getting there. And he smells really good."

"That would be fiftieth century genetics," the Doctor said. Kathryn looked confused for a moment, then it passed.

"Oh! No, I wasn't talking about that. Rift energy is…tainted sort of. A mish-mosh of impure energies from all over, and it's hard on my system. But Jack is straight up time energy. I'm talking filtered and boiled rainwater pure, and he looks absolutely amazing."

The Doctor blinked at Kathryn. "I've heard people say that about Jack before, but usually not when they're obviously referring to him as food." The Doctor stared into his tea, swirling the liquid in the cup.

"Where'd your accent come from?" he asked abruptly. "I don't remember it."

"I started using it again when I came through the Rift that first night," Kathryn explained. "It's been awhile since I've used it with any regularity, but I thought that I should go as American as possible while here."

"I thought you were from California."

"I moved there when I was five. I was born in Texas and went back in the summers and over Christmas breaks."

"You never mentioned it."

"You never asked." Kathryn bit her top lip, grimacing. "Sorry. That sounded more accusing than I intended it to be. I was looking more for the sarcastic tone."

"What was in the mural Kathryn?" the Doctor asked gently. Kathryn glared at him with slit eyes, then sighed deeply.

"The newspaper printouts are in the folder Mr. Jones brought down. You can flip through them if you want, but I might as well tell you." She stared down at her empty mug, trying to think.

After a minute she looked up at him. "I killed someone."


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor sat silently, waiting while Kathryn worked at how to tell the story.

"I was still human, obviously. I got into high school when I was eleven, twelve when I started my sophomore year. I was a few weeks out from being thirteen when it happened."

"Not that long ago for you then."

"No. Not long at all." She rolled the cup in her hands, staring at it again.

"I had this friend, a neighbor who was a few years older than I. His name was Bradley Isaac Rogers, but I called him Buck." Her voice broke a little on the nickname and Kathryn cleared her throat. "His dad was a nearly obsessive fan of Buck Rogers, so Bradley and I had read the comics and seen some of the shows. He already had the last name Rogers, and I was a strawberry blond so I became Wilma Deering." She grinned at the Doctor, a bittersweet smile as she remembered. "We even built this fort out in the woods, our base where all the adventures started."

Her face fell again as she returned to her story. "Because of the difference in our ages, we entered high school at the same time. We were both…odd. At the risk of sounding prideful, we were smart kids. We thought about things, about people, about what we were going to say and how things worked. Buck and I were the children parents wanted to have, ones who thought for themselves and shared those thoughts." Kathryn shook her head. "I don't know how school works on Gallifrey, but when you go to a public school…standing out doesn't really help."

"I know the feeling," the Doctor said quietly. "I'm guessing that you each handled it differently?"

"Yes," Kathryn said after a pause. "To make a long, mostly painful story short, we ended up seeking protection different ways, and one day—" Kathryn sat, unable to say the words. "And one day I went to the old base in the woods and so did he and there was a set up for making drugs. Opium, poppies, all the equipment. We had an argument about it, about selling drugs to the gangs near our school. A lot of the members were classmates of ours, so selling was a way of getting out of the insults, cruel jokes, stolen homework, and destroyed property."

Kathryn's voice had become almost automatic, whether from an emotional shutdown or from having to repeat the story multiple times, the Doctor didn't know. He listened carefully, knowing he couldn't ask Kathryn to tell him all this again.

"We'd both taken Chemistry from the local J.C. One night, instead of opium, a non-addictive substance called kavrin was delivered and the gang got mad. Buck and I had another argument, worse than we'd ever had before. We came to blows, though not many. Just enough to let off steam, a cut lip, a black eye. In the end, all the available opium and a refund was shoved into a bag to be handed over the next day.

"Unbeknownst to each other, we both made up reasons to be near the school that night—I told my parents I was going to stay at someone's house to study, or something stupid like that. Buck and I were both there, and the members in need of a fix were beyond furious at the previous substitution. When they saw that the person who'd made the switch was present, things got…nasty. I don't remember exactly what happened, how it happened, except that I pulled a gun I'd brought and instead of hitting a gang kid, I shot Bradley. Two bullets, head and heart."

Kathryn and the Doctor sat in heavy silence for a long minute before the Doctor spoke gently. "You made the swap. That's why your nickname was Kavrin."

"Yes," Kathryn answered. "That's where I got the nickname."

"And that's why your janitor friend said that if your school were victim to a gang attack, you would be the target, not some rock." The Doctor frowned. "Have you still got that transporter?"

"Yep. Still don't know why I'm attached to it." It was obvious she wasn't really paying any attention to her answer, still lost in her memory. Kathryn spoke quietly, not really talking to the Doctor.

"Cops came, a call about the shots. They found me by Buck's body. I told them what happened, showed them the drug lab. They found Buck's fingerprints on everything, powder on some of the clothes at his house. Everything pointed at him."

Kathryn's knuckles whitened around her still empty mug until the Doctor heard it crack. "I was well practiced, the moon was full, there was no wind, and everyone was close. But I still missed what I was aiming for and shot Bradley. I still shot him." She released her death grip on the porcelain mug and it fell apart in her hands as she looked at the Doctor again, cheeks tearstained.

"Do you remember the Naime, back in Scotland? That scream she had? That's the sort of sound I made when I saw what I did."

"And you weren't even thirteen."

"No. I wasn't yet thirteen."

Kathryn hopped off the counter and threw away the bits of mug. She started talking again, her voice sharper. "But do you know what the worst part is?" She sniffed and swallowed. "It wasn't even her. Genora has to live with that memory, and she didn't even do it."

"Genora?"

"My human," Kathryn answered. "The person I thought I was. Genora Alexis O'Conner." Kathryn inhaled deeply through her nose. "Been awhile since I've heard that name said aloud." She shook her head, pulling herself back to the now. "But Genora didn't even do it! Maybe she never would have if I hadn't been…playacting."

"Kathryn, I told you this once before," the Doctor said, trying to help. "There isn't any difference in character between a Jahra and the original. The Rahki are careful about that with Jahra; you didn't do anything that Genora wouldn't have already done."

"It doesn't matter! There's no way to be certain, and even if it would have happened anyway I was still the one who actually did it, and now she's living with it. One of us running around the universe is bad enough, but two? We're capable of anything considering what we've already done."

The Doctor frowned. "Are we still talking about the same thing?"

Kathryn tensed. "Yes. Yes we are." She sighed. "You know what? I'm going to go see if it's lunch yet, and I don't want Medic taking all the walnut chicken."

She paused at her desk to take out what looked like a cigarette case. It looked as though she was refilling her e-cigarette as she walked up the stairs.

The Doctor sat and thought about the story, fitting it in and around his mental file for Kathryn. With Jahra, even one as different and brilliant as her, there was a purpose to their lives and a careful selection as to where they were placed. Being such an out-of-the-ordinary Jahra, the Rahki would have taken extreme caution.

How did murder and drugs fit in? Or was it supposed to be the incredible loss and blame she took from the experience?

The Doctor went over to Kathryn's desk where the two file folders sat. Ignoring the one about the apartment, he instead opened her medical file and began to read.

* * *

The Doctor walked up the stairs half an hour later, hearing the laughter and talking before he could see the main room.

"I'm flailing about and trying to kill the fire that's all over my clothes and the Doctor's just standing there doing nothing to help. He just starts walking calmly around the room, mixing stuff together. I'm on fire, and he does nothing," the Doctor heard Kathryn say. The Doctor smiled as he remembered what came next in the story.

"Finally, after five minutes of this dance, the Doctor throws the contents of whatever he's made at me. Like that" –fingers snapped "—the fire's out. Completely out. I'm barely even scorched, hardly smell like smoke. I smell like chemicals, but that's all. Then with this poker face he deadpans '"Kathryn, that was a chemical based fire. It's used in magic tricks.'"

The Doctor stood hidden in the doorway, watching as the others laughed. "That sounds an awful lot like what happened in Penarth," Gwen said. Ianto smiled faintly.

"The difference would be that Jo wasn't the one going up in flames."

Kathryn tilted her head back, smirking at Jack. "Took a while before you got your eyebrows back. I still don't think you have eyelashes."

"Thanks for the reminder," Jack replied drolly. Kathryn grinned.

"Aw, you love me anyway." Still technically upside down, she used her chopsticks to reach into Jack's take-out box and steal what appeared to be a piece of beef.

Sitting back up, she looked at the Doctor. "Sup Doctor?" Kathryn lifted her own box. "We've got food." She ate the piece of stolen beef as the Doctor walked up to the group, thinking how much more comfortable Kathryn seemed in groups than when with just him. It looked natural for her to be with several others. She was certainly attached to the team.

"Finally decided that I needed a break," the Doctor said with a smile. He frowned at Kathryn. "That reminds me: Kathryn, I didn't feed your plants for the week that you were gone."

Kathryn's eyes widened in near horror. "You what?"

"Kathryn, those things never liked me, and the feeling is mutual. I am not sautéing rat or broiling fish for those vines or whatever it is you do for them."

Kathryn shoved her lunch into the Doctor's hands. "They'll be starving!"

"Kathryn, they're plants."

"They're s_entient_ plants," Kathryn stressed, "and they might try eating one of us if they figure out how to work a doorknob."

With that, she dashed off for TARDIS. The other's looked after her curiously.

"Sentient plants?" Owen asked. "Is that why she's constantly going on about Floyd, Bertha, and Randolph?"

"Among the other names she has for them, yes," the Doctor answered him. He held up a file folder. "I wanted to talk to you about this."

"What is it?" Tosh asked.

"Jo's medical file," Owen promptly answered. He motioned for the Doctor to follow as he went to the sunken medical bay.

"I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it," the Doctor quickly said. "It just—"

"Doesn't make any sense," Owen finished for him. "I know, but it's what I've found. Of course, it would be easier to be sure if Jo would sit still for two minutes, but you know how she is. The only real sample I have from her is a flesh covered needle that I used on her once."

The Doctor set down the folder, flipping it open to the summary Owen had in the front. "No ATP in her blood?" The Doctor asked, voice heavy with disbelief. Owen raised his eyebrows, un-intimidated.

"I've still got samples of her flesh if you want to check, but I've done that about ten times. She doesn't have ATP in her blood."

"You can't live without adenosine triphosphate in your blood. Muscles will not work, cells will not work. With the rate she absorbs energy it's not possible for her to have none in her system."

"I see you didn't read everything," Owen sighed, irritated. Pulling a remote out of a drawer, he brought up a body scan image on the wall. "I didn't say she had none in her system; I said she didn't have any in her blood."

The Doctor frowned, walking closer to the wall to look closer. "That can't be right."

"Thank you Doctor Obvious," Owen said dryly. He used a laser pointer on the remote to point at different things.

"This is where I would love to open her up and really take a good look inside. She's got three hearts, three kidneys, lungs 50% larger than a human does, two livers, an enlarged spleen, two extra organs, a few glands that don't seem to do anything, and everything else needed for life all jammed inside her. She probably can't even breathe without bruising something vital. If she didn't have the energy thing, she'd have been dead long ago." Owen shook his head at the image. "Whoever designed her is both the biggest idiot and the greatest genius in the galaxy."

"I'd almost tend to agree," the Doctor said, "except that it doesn't add up. Jahra are factory pieces, cookie-cutter almost. Someone must have been breaking the rules for Kathryn, and the Rahki are very strict about internal rules after all the restrictions placed on them." Producing his sonic, he adjusted something on it and turned it into a blue laser pointer. "Those extra organs there…those aren't there for other Jahra I've seen, same with those glands. What's that thing at the base of her skull?"

Owen fiddled with the remote and rotated the image, zooming in. "It's connected to her eyes," Owen said as the Doctor studied the image. "My best guess is that her green eyes are really chlorophyll, which explains why she has almost no pupil and why the brightness of the color changes depending on the amount of light to be had."

"Really?"

Owen raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You've never looked her in the eye?"

"I have, I just…never paid a lot of attention."

Owen looked at him a moment before continuing. "Anyway…I was talking about the organs I've never come across before." The image moved to focus on the symmetrical shapes near her kidneys. "My best guess is that they're used for storing the energy she collects, which would explain why her cells and body still work, like a battery that charges while it powers something else."

The Doctor looked at the full body scan for another long moment. "How did you even manage to get this?"

"Tosh and I worked together on it," Owen said. "She was trying out some kind of direct mind to computer interface on Jo who just happened to be standing in range of the scanner."

"Not bad."

"Something else I found," Owen said, turning off the image and pulling out several scans from the file on the surgeon's table. "Does your friend ever lose memories?"

"She's not able to reach a lot of information that most of her kind are programmed with," the Doctor answered. Owen nodded.

"That explains it." Owen handed the Doctor the brain scans and the Doctor held one of them up to the light.

"Seventy percent of her brain is active," the Doctor observed. "Explains why she's so clever. But the other thirty has absolutely nothing. It's like it doesn't even exist."

"Next one."

The Doctor picked up the other image, eyebrows raising slightly. "The back area is lit, partially. It's like it's sparking and trying to work." He frowned, pointing at the image. "What's this dark line?" he asked Owen. TORCHWOOD's resident physician shrugged.

"Haven't the slightest. Far as I can tell, her makers put some kind of a wall between those sections of her mind. It'll probably unlock at some point, but then there's no telling with Jo. However, I've heard her talking with Tosh, and it seems as though the seventy percent and the thirty percent are still connected by her sub-conscious."

The Doctor nodded. "That explains why she usually had to purposefully not focus on a task to do it correctly." The Doctor stared at the print out a little longer before looking up at Owen. "Any ideas how the skin to skin energy drain works?"

"Just one," Owen nodded. "I think she takes the ATP directly from the body of whoever the victim is, which explains the heat part. Her sound absorption comes with her incredible hearing, light with the chlorophyll eyes, mental…still working on that. There's probably more to it, considering she's mentioned a few things about Jack that doesn't match up with a chemical craving."

The Doctor thought for a moment. "ATP and time."

"Good guess."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "It's not a guess. I was there when she figured out temporal energy was an option for her, and that it's the one she's most likely to get lost in. That was right before she came here, actually. Funny how Rifts work."

"Tell me about it," Owen agreed. "If I never see another Weevil again, it'll be too soon. Or a Tuesday."

The Doctor smiled at the second reference before asking, "Was there anything else of note?"

"No. Find out anything definite about that thumb yet?"

The Doctor reached into his pocket and produced the thumb, wrapped in gauze. "Some, but not a lot. I'd be willing to let you look at it."

Owen looked at the Doctor. "Now that doesn't seem in character. From what Jo tells me, you don't share spotlight or jobs with mere humans."

The Doctor smiled and shrugged. "If you managed to not act stupid enough for Kathryn to eat you in four months of daily contact, you can at least function at an average level. Besides, Kathryn's work station isn't set up for medical analysis."

* * *

Kathryn brushed her hair out, blissfully happy. The moment she'd stepped into TARDIS, she'd felt all the pressing, cloying energy of the Rift drop away. She'd known that TARDIS used it for power, but not to that extent. Or maybe TARDIS was helping Kathryn out. Either explanation was okay.

She'd also felt completely exhausted, and had fed her plants in a haze of sleep-deprivation. Well, sleep-deprivation and a sort of nutrition deficiency. TARDIS gave off a particular brand of temporal power, Huon particles, the Doctor had called them once. Kathryn had made the experienced guess that it was the purest, healthiest kind of power. After months of eating junk food, she was back on salad. No wonder she was wiped.

Kathryn smiled at the two pictures on her dresser, one of her human family and one of her human friends. She'd probably missed the pictures most of all.

Giving a great yawn, the first in four months, Kathryn crawled into bed and lay under the covers, listening. TARDIS always had her own signature sounds, even when landed, sounds that meant home and safety. This room was home, with the weapons on the wall, the glass cupboards full of mementos, pictures of her un-reachable family on the dresser, a fireplace, myrrh in the incense dish…oh, it was so good to have home back.

Kathryn fell into a deep sleep. She didn't know how long she had been out when a voice broke through her dreams.

"Hello Deering."


	5. Chapter 5

Kathryn felt her hearts speed up, was certain that the person at the foot of her bed could hear it. Forcing herself to not move and run with frenzied panic Kathryn sat up and crossed her legs, setting her elbows on her knees and resting her chin in her hand. The intruder and she stared at each other, studying. Kathryn could almost feel her nerves fraying.

The thing was a perfect, carbon-copy imitation of Buck just after he'd been shot. Tow colored hair, tanned skin, jeans, white T-shirt, well built. The sharp eyes, colored bluest blue, were clear. She'd almost be happy to see him if it weren't for the hole in his forehead and the one in his chest.

"You're going to get blood on the carpet," Kathryn said after a minute, unable to stand the silence. The creature smiled, the slightly shy half-smile that Buck had always had.

"Happens when you get shot."

Kathryn didn't have an instant reply, so got up out of bed, buying time. "You seem to have recovered. How is your hand, by the way?"

The creature lifted its hand, showing that the thumb had grown back. "Your memory includes a thumb," it said by way of explanation. "So, I have a thumb."

Kathryn nodded. "Since you're here, I have questions."

"You always did Deering."

Kathryn took a deep breath and forced herself to look at the thing's face. "Do you mind shifting to the Doctor? I get the feeling we're going to argue at some point, and I'm used to arguing with him."

"What if I don't want to?"

Kathryn's hearts gave a small squeeze. Buck had always said that before he would go and do whatever she had asked of him. "Because you're on my turf, and if you could kill me you would have done it. So shift."

The thing retained Buck's shape for a moment longer, then as suddenly as flipping a picture became an immaculate copy of the Doctor. Kathryn nodded.

"Thank you." This shape was easier to deal with. She titled her head sideways. "Do you have a name where you come from?"

"Not particularly."

Kathryn thought for a moment. "What do you feed off of, exactly?"

The thing shrugged. "Emotions. Memories. Thoughts."

"Then that's what I'll call you. From here on out you are to be named Thought."

Thought raised his eyebrow exactly like the Doctor did. "Why would I need a name?"

"If you're going to insult someone, it's always good to have a name." Kathryn purposefully turned her back on Thought and poured a tall glass of water from a pitcher next to her bed, still trying to think and understand. "How'd you get in?"

"I'm not really here, not like I was in the alleyway. Right now I'm more of…I don't want to call it a dream…"

"A hallucination?"

"A highly controlled one, but I suppose that's close enough."

Kathryn nodded, gesturing to the chairs near her fireplace. Both parties sat in silence for a few moments.

"You lied earlier," Thought said, a malicious hint to his voice.

"I tend to do that," Kathryn said with a shrug in her voice.

"I meant to the Doctor."

Kathryn's eyes slid over to Thought. "If you can really read my mind, then you know that everything I said was true."

"There are many, many ways to lie. Although, most wouldn't make up a story the way you did. I thought you were friends with that young man."

"That's not really what you're here to talk about, is it?" Kathryn said, changing the subject. "You want me out of TARDIS where you can reach me. First, I want to know what makes me so special."

"I've lived in the Rift for a very, very, very long time Kathryn," Thought said. "A lot comes through there, most of which I can live off of. Sometimes people pass through, but nothing really special. Just someone who walked over the wrong spot on the wrong day. It's always the same dull mush of…relatives and parents and mortgages and jobs. But you…" Thought smiled, a smile that didn't look quite right on the Doctor.

"You are something very much new, very much a…a delicacy if you would. You've experienced things, felt things, and done things that most people can't imagine."

"Then why did you wait so long to try eating me?" Kathryn asked. "I've been down in the basement alone every day for hours on end. Why simply poke the way you've been doing?"

"Haven't you heard of preparing a dish before you eat it?" Thought asked, the question rhetorical.

"I have," Kathryn answered anyway, "but I'm not sure how that works in your case."

"I live on emotions, the strongest of which are grief, anger, and upon occasion joy. If I play on the memories that cause those feelings, it makes a better flavor." Thought sat back, smiling like he had a secret. "Then of course I had to figure you out."

"Oh, that takes longer than four months Thought," Kathryn returned, her tone almost teasing. "I still don't know what I am."

"I couldn't care less about your personal identity," Thought said derisively. Kathryn's jaw clenched hearing the tone attached to the Doctor's voice. "It helps me if you haven't a thing to hold on to." Thought leaned forward in earnest. "No, what I care about is all that information that your Masters put into your head, all those things you don't know but should."

"The Rahki are not my masters," Kathryn snarled. Thought raised an eyebrow.

"They created you, gave you all their knowledge but only so you could access enough to satisfy immediate need, and then presented you with a gift that's really a curse. They've carefully controlled your life up to now, and no matter how hard you try you can't let go of that transporter. I'd say that they were your masters."

Kathryn drank the last of her water, willing herself not to retaliate by throwing her glass at Thought. Forcing her mind to work, she found another question. "So, you've figured out my mind, at least partly. Why not show up in the basement? Why work so hard to pull me out of the office?"

"Come now Kathryn, you can't be that thick."

"Pretend I am and answer the question."

Thought sighed heavily. "You are, despite your age, in surprising control of your own mind. I suspect it's because of your defective shift into becoming a Jahra; you gained all of their programed mental prowess with none of the outside control they're usually burdened with. As such, I needed you to be in a highly emotional, preferably traumatized state to gain real access. Of course, now that I've gotten a fingernail latched in, it doesn't matter quite so much."

"So you don't really care about the other people in Cardiff; it's just me."

Thought smiled, reading her intentions. "You can't simply run from me, Kathryn. The Rift goes everywhere; you know that after working in the archives. You think I couldn't find you?" He settled further into the chair. "Not that I'd have to chase you. You wouldn't run."

"Why not?" Kathryn challenged. "I'm constantly moving when I'm with the Doctor, almost no time in any place. What makes you think I couldn't avoid you?"

"I've had four months to study your friends as well. They all have a certain quality about them. Not as incredible as you of course, but still unique."

"Leave them alone."

"I haven't touched them."

Kathryn shot out of her chair, face becoming infused with purple. She smashed her glass on the arm of the chair, leaving a long shard in her hand. "I swear Thought; you bother them the way you have me, just once, and I'll—"

"You'll what, Kathryn?" Thought asked as he stood, using the Doctor's full height to his advantage. "Kill me? How do you plan to do that?"

Hand shooting out he grabbed her face. Kathryn felt the bloodless cold of it an instant before she recognized the energy crackling between them. Thought stared into her eyes, very much the predator as he continued speaking, backing her up. "I am built from _your_ mind, Kathryn, created from _your_ memories. I know everything about you and I know that you can't do a thing against me."

Kathryn felt her back hit a wall, then felt herself going limp as Thought began draining energy from her, siphoning it off. "I can do what I wish to those people you call friends—though we both know what you really do to your friends. They'd be better off as your enemies and you know it."

His grip tightened and Kathryn felt fear, real fear well up inside her. She was playing a dangerous game, and for once she didn't think she could win. How could she? She was fighting the Doctor, wasn't she?

The face staring at her smiled. "And how about your Doctor? He's got quite a special air about him, doesn't he? Last of his kind, or so your mind says. Wouldn't he be a spectacular victim?"

Looking back, Kathryn was convinced she'd lost a second of her life. One moment she was being attacked and her friends being threatened by a creature of the mind and the next she had buried a glass shard in the Doctor's stomach.

He backed up several steps, releasing Kathryn. The Doctor stared at her with wide eyes, blood covering his hands and all over the carpet. "Why Kathryn?" he gasped out. "I was trying to…"

Kathryn stared dumbly at the red blood on her hand. Her body went cold and she was at her friend's side as he dropped on the carpet.

"Doctor? Oh my…" Tears started running down her face unheeded as the Doctor tried to breathe. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't…I wasn't trying…I thought…I'm sorry!"

The Doctor's eyes slid over to her face and he smiled cruelly. "Isn't that what you told me, Deering?" he asked as his instantly clicked into a copy of Buck. Kathryn blinked, trying to clear her mind and understand.

Buck—no, Thought. Thought pulled the glass from his stomach, completely free of blood. Grabbing Kathryn by the throat, he hauled her up as he stood.

"You begged to be forgiven, pleaded that you didn't know what you were doing. The scream you let out was heard by time itself, is probably still ringing through the vortex." The sharp glass scraped Kathryn's neck and she felt blood run down her throat as she tried to breathe. The eyes never relented, continued slicing open her soul. "Yet here you are, killing your closest companion, your dearest friend." He sneered at her. "And you think you can change."

The back of Kathryn's head smacked hard against the wall. One of her still lit oil lamps crashed on the carpet as her leg bumped a table. She made a choking sound as she felt the glass run into her abdomen. Still gripping her neck, Thought leaned next to her ear.

"Either you can run and lie again and I'll hunt down your friend, or you do something decent for once."

In a fluid motion the glass was ripped from her stomach and driven into her first heart. Kathryn's world went black and she sunk into terror.


	6. Chapter 6

_Tap tap tap. _

"Kathryn?"

The Doctor frowned and knocked on Kathryn's bedroom door again. She had been in there for ten hours of local time, four times as long as she usually slept. It worried him. He knew that she had probably needed a good cry—most girls her age usually did, especially after a painful day. Even if she had taken a nap, though she hated sleep, Kathryn should have been out long ago.

What would keep her so long?

"Kathryn, it's me. Open the door." When there was no answer, he tried turning the knob. It was locked.

"Kathryn, unlock the door." Still no reply. Sighing at the strange nature of Earth females and Kathryn, he soniced the lock. Turning the handle, he pushed the door in. It moved a centimeter at most before it stopped again, bumping against something.

"Kathryn, I don't know what you're doing, but you need to open the door. We need to talk, and it's very difficult when I can't see you."

Frustrated at the lack of response, the Doctor leaned into the door. It didn't budge. He sighed again.

"Sorry I have to do this, but if you insist on acting your age…" Producing his sonic again, he used it on the door hinges. They loosened and he took the door completely off the wall and set it gently aside.

He was greeted by a wall of wood. It looked like the back of a heavy shelf.

"Kathryn?" the Doctor called again, worry creeping into his voice. Bracing himself, the Doctor thudded his shoulder into whatever was blocking the door. Moving in tandem with it, he was able to topple it. Glass shattered and he stood horrified.

Stepping around what used to be Kathryn's glass shelves of souvenirs, the Doctor stared aghast at the destruction in Kathryn's room. The Persian carpets were burnt, the walls were scorched, mirrors cracked, and the smell of oil and spices hung in the air. A broken pottery lamp on the floor told of how the fire began. Water damage from the fire protection system was everywhere. There was a great shard of bloody glass near her closet.

Glancing at her nearby dresser, the Doctor noticed that the two pictures of Kathryn's human life were missing. Something cloth at the base of her dresser caught the Doctor's eye and he carefully picked his way to it. Picking up the object, he saw it was a shirt.

There were two slits in it, one for the stomach and one for the heart.

"Kathryn!" he shouted, the worry in his voice rising. Only by grace of practice he caught the way her greenhouse door was open oh so slightly. He dashed for it and was quickly swallowed by the heavy green humidity of the place, which was more like a jungle than a greenhouse.

"Kathryn!"

The Doctor heard a slight rattle and remembered the fact that Kathryn's plants had a grudge against him for unknown reasons. He could almost feel hundreds of invisible eyes—nonexistent eyes—on him. Then, to his surprise, they parted slightly, outlining a path in front of him as the short space behind him sealed off. With no other choice, he quickly took the route.

It must have been direct. Shortly the Doctor heard water running, and the jungle touch faded and became a bit more garden. A wall of tightly laced vines untwined themselves and retreated up towards the invisible ceiling, part of them coming down to thread comfortingly around the sitting form of Kathryn. The ridiculously large bud of a red plant that was covered in green splotches rested in her lap as she stroked it. It created a surprisingly calm picture considering the state of her room.

The question of where Kathryn had found so many sentient plants that would serve as bodyguards would have to wait for another day. The Doctor walked forward into the miniscule meadow that Kathryn had created, complete with a creek. There were an inordinate amount of irises. Maybe it was her favorite plant.

The closed bud lifted itself out of Kathryn's lap and turned towards the Doctor while making a rattling noise, almost as if hissing at him. Kathryn made a shushing noise and the plant retreated into the rest of the foliage.

"Was that Floyd?" the Doctor asked. Kathryn nodded, looking at the spot where her friend had gone.

"Yes. Plants in the Refti strain never stop growing, and they grow very fast in the first twelve months of life." She was distant, her mind elsewhere.

"Kathryn, what happened?"

"There's this song I found while living here," she answered, ignoring the question. "Artist by the name of Lenka. Technically the song doesn't exist yet by linear standards, but sometimes the stuff that filters through the Rift is more recent than you think. Loved it to death, listened to it every single day, multiple times a day." Kathryn inhaled through her nose, leaning back as the vines adjusted to support her. "Chorus was my favorite bit, used to be anyway." She tilted her head back, reciting the words. "He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart. He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part. Trouble is a friend of mine."

"Kathryn, what happened to your room? Are you alright?" the Doctor asked, walking around to see her face, noting that the picture frames from her dresser were sitting next to her in the grass. She didn't seem to notice him as she kept talking.

"In the second verse, there's another line that I liked. Thought it was interesting, sort of scary while being fun." Her voice changed slightly, indicating recitation. "He sees what I see and he knows what I know." Kathryn finally looked at the Doctor and he saw severe pain in her face, pain and loss. The Doctor crouched down by her, not missing the fact that she smelled of blood and had a long scratch where her jugular vein beat a pulse. She sighed. "Funny how things like that come true."

"What happened?" the Doctor asked again. "Your room…"

Kathryn's mouth twitched slightly in a smile. "You were worried about me." The smile vanished. "Thought was here."

"Who?"

"That's the name I gave to that…shape shifting thing."

"Why was he here?"

"Scare tactics. We chatted."

"Kathryn, your room is half burnt and there's blood everywhere. I saw your shirt."

"The chat got…violent," Kathryn said, not looking the Doctor in the eye. She looked down at her hand and wiped it on her pants furiously as though it were stained with something. "A lamp was knocked over and I got gutted in the end. I think panic set in after that."

"You only think."

Kathryn tried making a face. "I'm a teenager. You're lucky I can pretend to hold a conversation about something other than boys and makeup."

The Doctor smiled at her ongoing criticism of her old classmates, but it was obvious something had been said that troubled her.

"Did Thought say what he wanted?"

"Yep."

When she didn't explain further, the Doctor pressed. "And that thing is…"

Kathryn took another deep breath. "He feeds off emotions, memories. Apparently, he's sick of the hum-drum of daily life and wants some of that adventurer's spice."

Kathryn's meaning clicked instantly. "He wants your memories specifically."

"Yep."

"We can leave Kathryn," the Doctor said, repeating his earlier offer. "If he's chasing you, then once you leave he has no reason to stay. We're always on the move—"

"No," Kathryn said firmly. "No. He's had four months to tune into my brain, to know how to find it. I'm not living the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, and I'm not leaving anyone else to him."

"Anyone…is he going to start eating TORCHWOOD now? Kathryn, I really don't think they're in danger. If Thought wanted to threaten them he'd have done—"

"He didn't threaten TORCHWOOD, he threatened you!" Kathryn burst out, standing so fast that the Doctor was knocked off balance. He stood, confused.

"Kathryn, I've had people promising me death for nearly nine centuries. It's nothing I can't deal with."

"But this isn't death!" Kathryn exclaimed. "He gets in your head, knows things, uses memories." She gripped the side of her head, eyes wide. "Things spin and you can't tell what's really going on and reality gets twisted and you don't know if you're protecting yourself or murdering your best friend or if you're going to—"

"Kathryn!"

Kathryn stopped suddenly at the Doctor's sharp voice. Frustrated at having no answers but concerned for her unraveling mental state, he asked gently, "Kathryn, what happened? Really, what did he do to you?"

She blinked a few times and then took a deep breath. Looking at once very strong and very frail, Kathryn asked in a calm voice, "Doctor, tell me about my friend Buck."

"What?"

"I gave you a story; tell me about him."

"Kathryn, what are you—?"

"What do you know? Tell me."

"Why?"

"Because I want to hear how well I did."

The Doctor was confused. The disgusted tone and the praising words she used didn't match up. Hesitantly, he tried to get at what Kathryn was trying for. "You knew him from when you were small, went to the same high school, he got involved with illegal dealings—"

"And then I shot him," Kathryn finished. "Doctor, I'm not killing another friend."

The Doctor instantly understood what she was saying. Nearly frantic, he grabbed her shoulders, looking into her eyes. "Kathryn, you are not turning yourself over to that thing. This is exactly what you've been avoiding with the Rahki. We've gotten—"

"No, you aren't listening!" Kathryn snapped, near tears. "I didn't just shoot Buck, Doctor; I killed him. It was my fault he was there in the first place!"

"Kathryn, you can't blame yourself for what he did!" the Doctor argued back, shaking her slightly. "You were scared and young and—"

"And I was dealing drugs behind everyone's back!"

The Doctor stared at her, his hands dropping from her shoulders. "What?"

Kathryn really was crying now, but not as a defense. They were tears of self-revulsion. "Buck wasn't the one cooking up stuff in the backyard; I was. I was the youngest girl in the school, I didn't fit, I was too bloody smart for my own good and wouldn't shut up about it, and I was too stupid and idiotic to just face my peers. If I hadn't been such a…a coward, Buck wouldn't be dead."

She sniffed deeply, looking the Doctor in the eye. "Bradley Isaac Rogers was my best friend. He was the person who knew me best and who I trusted most, and if I hadn't been such a test-tube creation, Genora and he would probably get married somewhere down the road. Instead, I killed him and then let everyone think I was the victim. Those who knew the truth admired me for getting off so clean, while everyone else avoided me and called me Kavrin. I will not kill another one."

The Doctor turned away, staring at the dozens of irises instead of at Kathryn. The colors ran together, mostly unnoticed as he tried to think of something to say, something to do. Dozens of things ran through his constantly overactive mind, but which one would help? He couldn't point fingers, but he couldn't condone her actions. He couldn't let her give her brain to whatever this Thought creature was, but the Doctor didn't seem to have the option of walking off or of dissuading the creature.

Unless—

The idea was cut off by a sudden cloying smell as a haze of orange powder burst in his face. Glancing sideways, the Doctor saw a huge purple blossom before his muscles relaxed and his mind went numb. Collapsing, the Doctor blurrily saw Kathryn's face as she let him down carefully.

"I'm sorry Doctor," he heard hazily. "I'm not doing this again."


	7. Chapter 7

The Doctor blinked, the world swimming above him. Someone was talking but he had no idea what they were saying. There was another sound, something important. Another person started shouting as things slowly came into focus.

"—she leave?"

The person leaning over him smacked the Doctor's face lightly. When the figure spoke again the Doctor recognized it as Jack.

"Doctor, you need to get up. Jo's gone AWOL."

The Doctor sat up quickly, inhaling deeply. His hand shot to his head, steadying it as Jack helped him stand.

"Doctor, what's happened?"

The Doctor blinked at the speaker, trying to identify the female voice. He had a terrific headache. "Tosh. Right. How did I get out here?"

"You're asking us?" Gwen asked him in surprise. "You just got chucked out the door before your box left you. Jo's still in it. I didn't even know she could fly that thing."

From long practice, the Doctor straightened and focused. "We need to find her."

"And how are you doing that Doctor?" Jack asked. "I don't know what she's thinking, but Jo could literally be anywhere. You can't just track a TARDIS."

"Can't if you don't have a piece." The Doctor tossed something to Tosh. She caught it and opened her hands.

"A Yale key?"

"TARDIS Key," the Doctor corrected, already pulling up the archive listings on the computer. "If you have as much stuff as I think—and you probably do—then we can find the TARDIS signal." He pointed at Tosh. "If you've still got that homing chip someplace, I want you to hook the Key up to it. We're going to need it. Wait on the final connection until I tell you."

Tosh nodded and went to a desk, pulling a hexagonal chip from it. The Doctor started writing down a list on a notepad from the archive records on the computer screen.

"Ianto Jones!"

"Yes Doctor?"

"I take it you remember or can find out exactly what was in that wallet Kathryn came through with?"

"Yes."

"Good." The Doctor glanced up at Ianto. "Go assemble the pieces."

"What do you need it for?" Owen asked. The Doctor continued looking between the screen and the notepad.

"Because if I'm right—and I usually am—we're only going to have a short window to track the TARDIS here in Cardiff before the chip starts seeking her itself, which should take it directly to Kathryn in a completely different area of space, on the other side of your Rift. After it finds what it wants, it'll come back home and try to report, bringing Kathryn with it and completing the circle. Time takes care of itself very well." The Doctor tore off the paper and handed it to Owen. "A list of what I need."

Surprisingly enough, Owen took the list and went off without complaint.

"What makes you think she's still in Cardiff, whenever that might be?" Jack asked.

"Because she wants to be found," the Doctor said, looking at Jack. "Just not by us."

"Who's looking for her?" Tosh asked.

The Doctor spun in the chair, turning to answer her. "The thing that tried to kill her."

* * *

Kathryn took a deep breath. She'd landed TARDIS on the beach in Cardiff, and in another moment she'd step out. When she did, TARDIS would pilot herself back to the Hub, but several hours after she had left. Plenty of time for Kathryn to do what she came to do. She was actually rather proud she'd been able to set up the command for TARDIS to go to autopilot. Kathryn had picked up more than a few programming tips, and she remembered a great deal from the short amount of time the Doctor had let her keep the TARDIS Manuel, but still.

Her hand shook slightly when she took off her Key and hung it on the coat rack. She'd been so pleased, felt so secure when the Doctor had given it to her. Of course, even if she didn't do this he'd probably reclaim it, put her on a sort of probation. You didn't hear a story like hers and not react with disfavor. This would serve as her redemption; leave things okay if not good.

Kathryn ran her hand down the coral pillars and listened to the hum of TARDIS a moment more.

"Take care of him lady love," Kathryn whispered to the old Type-40. "Get him a friend."

With that, Kathryn stepped out onto the beach. TARDIS instantly vanished with her beautiful noise. Before she was quite gone, Kathryn heard a voice.

"You actually decided to show."

Kathryn looked at Thought, who was wearing the guise of Buck. She nodded, her mouth dry. "I won't let you take him."

"Nice to know even you can improve Deering."

"Improve and go beyond," Kathryn said with more bravery than she felt. She'd had time to think after he left her. "Thought, I've got a business proposition for you."

"I know. I can read your mind, remember?"

"Then you know that you come out the winner."

"Do I?" Thought asked, tilting his head slightly. "I've never kept leftovers."

"You've never met someone who couldn't die," Kathryn reminded him. "And if I can't die, one way or another you will never actually get all of my memories. And I don't know about you, but if I almost win but don't quite win? I tend to think of it as a loss."

"Yes, but where would I keep you?" Thought asked. "Even a thing like you couldn't survive the Rift indefinitely."

Kathryn shook her head in admonishment. "Really Thought. As if you're actually restricted by the Rift. I'm sure that once you find a mind to feed from you can go where ever you please, like one of those irritating shoulder consciences they have in cartoons. And if you can step through the Rift, I'm certain you can send others through."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"Because you can choose where I go and what I see!" Kathryn said as though it were obvious. "All that pain and joy and the extremes you talked about…something like you can easily send me rocketing from one to the next within the space of a breath. I could relive my entire life, or the lives of people I've hurt, or people I've helped, or even people I've loved. An endless supply of exciting, highly flavored dishes for you to feed off of for the rest of your life."

Thought blinked, wearing a pensive look that Kathryn knew well. She had to hand it to him; Thought could recreate anything from memory.

"And if it didn't work?" he asked. "What if you end up unable to survive another trip through the Rift?"

"Please," Kathryn scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You really think that I, a thing that feeds off energy, couldn't live in energy soup? That's like saying you'd die in a psychiatrist's office. If by some inconceivable fluke that I didn't survive, you still end up stuffed with brains. You can't lose."

Suddenly Thought was directly in front of her and shaped like the Doctor. He looked down at her. "And you'd do this…why?" he asked. "You either end up dead or trapped in a living hell for the rest of forever, which I would certainly make it. Why are you doing this?"

"To keep you away from the people I love," Kathryn answered steadily. Thought raised an eyebrow.

"People or person?"

"Does it matter?"

Thought shrugged. "Not really. Of course, there is one other thing." He stepped sideways, moving around her and speaking in her ear as he did so. "You've already got masters."

Kathryn's hand shot to her transporter as Thought tugged on the string. He laughed, leaning on her shoulders. "You're so connected to that thing, so convinced it's burnt out and useless and a bad reminder of what you really are, but you can't let it go. It's like your security blanket, one you should hate but can't live without."

Kathryn shuddered slightly as Thought's hand ran down her arm and wrapped around the fist clenching the DNA transporter.

"And you know what's funny?" Thought whispered, his tone low and snake-like, so wrong when used with the Doctor's voice. "I know more about it than you do. Oh yes. I've been in the back room Kathryn. The part of your mind you can't see. That's why I call the Rahki your masters; because I know exactly what's been laid out for you, what should have happened." He paused. "Do you want to know?"

"No!"

Thought backed up slightly from Kathryn, both of them surprised by the sharpness of her refusal. She took a breath, controlling herself. "No. I'm perfectly happy being who I am, without the influence of the Rahki."

"But they do influence you, whether or not you like it," Thought crooned. "Can you really sell yourself when you already have an owner?"

Kathryn didn't respond right away. With a quick movement she jerked at the pouch, breaking the string around her neck. She could feel herself shaking, the unnatural, reasonless panic welling up inside as it always did. Forcing it down, Kathryn started twirling the necklace pouch. With a hop and a skip, she sent it flying out into the nearby ocean. Starting to hyperventilate, Kathryn watched the splash appear far out in the bay as the rock-like transporter sank.

"I'm impressed."

"I'm going to throw up," Kathryn answered Thought, pressing a hand against her stomach and fighting to keep her last meal down.

Kathryn didn't notice that Thought had been silent for several minutes until he spoke.

"I think we should test to see if your proposal really does work. If it does, I'll take things a step further; no one you care about will ever be aware of my existence." A cold hand touched her shoulder. "Let's give it a trial run."

Kathryn gasped in shock as she was plunged into the Rift. Empty universes danced before her eyes, screaming silence ringing in her ears.

The swirling energies stopped as Kathryn tried to regain her breath. Thought stood next to her, still wearing the same face. He nodded to a spot in front of her. Kathryn's hearts skipped their beats as she looked over and saw the Doctor. "Doctor!" she called involuntarily, jerking forward. She hit her head on something solid. "What the?"

"I already told you that they wouldn't know of my presence, and this way he doesn't. It's sort of like that earth story "Though the Looking Glass" except that you needed go through the looking glass to experience what's on the other side. Take a good look. I want to be sure this works."

Kathryn looked back to the real Doctor, watching in near horror as the scene played out.


	8. Chapter 8

"Okay, but I still don't get it," Gwen said again a few hours after Kathryn left, trying to understand. "Why can't she just…I don't know, leave or kill it or something?"

"To start with, killing is never a first resort," the Doctor answered Gwen patiently, not looking up as he continued piecing something mechanical together. "If I haven't taught Kathryn that by now, we're all in trouble. Second, it's extremely difficult to kill something that is only conscience. You have to corner it completely in a mind, and if you somehow manage to do that you still have to overwhelm it in its own territory. As to running, your basement is example enough to tell you the Rift goes everywhere."

The Doctor twisted his head over his shoulder. "How's the Key coming?"

Tosh walked up, gingerly setting the Key and the attached chip on the table next to the Doctor. She lightly touched the only disconnected wire. "Just attach this one, and it should work."

"Good," the Doctor said dismissively, giving it a cursory glance. When Tosh didn't move, he looked up at her. As usual, she looked nervous.

"Why would Jo do this?" Tosh asked softly.

"She's overprotective," the Doctor answered. "And I think whatever that thing really is, it told her it would move on to TORCHWOOD."

Tosh shook her head. "We aren't enough."

"What?"

"The TORCHWOOD Team isn't enough Doctor," Tosh repeated, looking a little more sure of herself than she usually did. "You might have traveled with her for four months, but I talked to her. TORCHWOOD being threatened wouldn't have made her give herself over."

It might have been the Doctor's imagination, but Tosh seemed to lean in a little closer, looking surprisingly, but still not quite, threatening. "So make sure she comes back, Doctor," Tosh said in Japanese. "Whatever you do, make sure she comes back."

"I have the wallet for you, Doctor."

Ianto's voice broke the strained moment and the Doctor turned to him. "Thank you. Set it there. Tosh, if you'd slide the chip into the wallet and attach that last wire—"

The Doctor clamped what looked like one end of a set of very small jumper cables to the Key. Then he flicked a switch on his creation.

"There," he announced to no one in particular. "That will excite the Key's signature—same as the TARDIS has—and give us our first signal, or at least a way to find it."

The Doctor lifted his head, frowning when an inexplicable wind started up in the Hub, accompanied by a wheezing, grating sound.

"She's on autopilot," the Doctor said in disbelief as the TARDIS materialized. "But Kathryn shouldn't know how to set the autopilot."

There was a small flash on the table in front of him as the wallet vanished, leaving the Doctor's TARDIS Key behind. He took it without commenting on the Rift action and went directly for the TARDIS door.

"We're coming with you."

"No you aren't," the Doctor answered Jack without missing a beat.

"We're as much her friends and just as responsible for her as you are," Gwen argued. The Doctor looked at her.

"That thing she's fighting is a creature of the mind," the Doctor said, his voice bordering on dangerous. "Your toys and gadgets won't do anything. The only way to send it back is to corner it before removal, and you can't do that with seven minds for it to hide in. Bad enough with two. So you are all going to stay right here."

The Doctor didn't wait for an answer before stepping into TARDIS.

* * *

"Doctor!" Kathryn heard herself scream as he crumbled in front of her. She pressed her hands against the invisible barrier, trying to find a way through, begging him to see her and realize it wasn't real, that she hadn't really just…

Panic and grief welled in her as the Doctor continued to not move. The other sounds of the scenario faded into the background as she continued looking for a way to reach him.

"Doctor! Doctor please, you can't be dead. I'm here, I promise it's me. Doctor!" The image started to fade, the body of the Doctor becoming hidden behind swirling mist. Kathryn frantically ran her hands over the barrier, trying to find a way through. "No, no no no! I won't let you be dead! Doctor! DOCTOR!"

Whiteness, then Kathryn was back on the beach in Cardiff, doubled over on the sand, emptying her stomach in the surf at what she had just experienced. It was a great deal colder and more damp than when they'd left, but that was probably just her. She felt rather than saw Thought crouch down next to her. He laid his hand on the back of her head.

"I accept your business proposal, Kathryn Moore."

"Damn you Thought," Kathryn ground out. "That wasn't part of the deal. I offered my past and whatever future you would create. That…that _thing_ I just saw is completely new and would never happen."

"And you know your own mind so well?"

"I do," Kathryn snapped back, standing up shakily. "I would rather die than do something like that to him. Why do you think I'm here?"

"Because you're running from what you fear you were made for." Thought leaned down slightly. "I simply gave you proof. I can't show you anything you don't already have in your mind, Kathryn." He frowned. "Are you reconsidering?"

Kathryn's throat closed. She wasn't looking forward to this. She'd rather avoid it. Why couldn't she leave? Why did she care so much? TORCHWOOD was good at what they did, and the Doctor was here. Wouldn't they save her if she just explained things, asked for help?

And why should she care so much? They were all adults, all woke up knowing they might die. She'd known them for four months apiece, and she was only fifteen. Why couldn't she just live her life? She didn't even know who she was! How could she do something like this?

Kathryn took a breath, picturing the Doctor, her friend, her brother, her father. She could see him standing in front of her and telling her that there was always an alternative. Then she saw him with his spirit broken and all the fire out of his eyes, with nothing left but the memories he ran from. The picture was replaced with what Thought had just shown her. She closed her mind to the image.

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" she asked softly. She set her shoulders and looked up into Thought's face. "The deal's been made. You keep me, but you don't touch another person while I'm around."

"Done."

Kathryn's eyes widened at a sound and she leaned around Thought, staring as TARDIS began to materialize on the beach. This part wasn't supposed to happen. She jerked her head back to Thought.

"We need to leave."

"You don't call the shots anymore Kathryn. It's not your life."


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor stopped two yards from the disturbingly perfect copy of himself, a man who he assumed was Thought. The two men stood watching each other—one with a deadly seriousness, the other with a victorious smirk playing about his lips. Finally the Doctor spoke.

"I've come to discuss my friend's release," he said, referring to Kathryn. She stood behind and a little to the left of the copy, looking far too pale and not particularly happy to see the Doctor.

"It's not your release to discuss," Thought answered, his tone matching his expression. "The deal's been made. You sir, are free of your responsibility."

"My what?"

"Your responsibility," Thought repeated as though it were obvious. "You don't have to take care of her anymore. Free to go."

"She's not a responsibility; she's my friend, and you're going to let her go."

Thought raised an eyebrow. "You put off finding her though."

The Doctor glanced at Kathryn, who was obviously confused and didn't seem to know if she should be hurt or not. He looked back at his twisted twin.

"The moment I realized she was gone I started using TARDIS to search for evidence of her presence," the Doctor told Thought, half-wondering why he was defending himself.

"Kathryn is a ball of energy Doctor," Thought mocked. The Doctor's face remained immobile.

"Who was living on one of the largest sources of Rift energy that the universe has."

"Wouldn't that have made it easier?" Thought pressed. "She left a rift-planet and is full of refined power. She would have been drawn to the largest Rift possible like a magnet, even without that stupid homing signal."

The Doctor knew Thought was doing something with this, but for the life of him he didn't know what. He needed to get close enough to Kathryn to get a good grip on her mind. He'd be able to evict Thought then.

"You mentioned a deal," the Doctor said suddenly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something shift in Kathryn's expression. He noted absently that this was the longest stretch she'd gone without speaking before turning his attention back to Thought.

"Yes, I did," Thought confirmed. He slid his hands into his pockets and shifted his weight slightly. It disturbed the Doctor to see it happen rather than to do it. "Your responsibility," Thought said, using the word on purpose, "finally helped someone she liked rather than running them through issues or death. She gave herself to me to keep the rest of you safe."

"She doesn't look particularly lacking in memory," the Doctor commented. Thought didn't say anything, just kept using that odd smile. It took a second before it clicked. The Doctor turned to Kathryn. "Tell me you didn't."

Kathryn met the Doctor's gaze before sliding her eyes away. She stared straight forward, looking vaguely insulted and certainly hurt he had asked.

Abruptly she collapsed on the sand. The Doctor started forward but forced himself to stay in check. He looked accusingly at Thought. "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing she wasn't doing to herself," Thought answered, not even looking at Kathryn. "Because that's really all I do, Doctor. I play with emotions and the memories that spark those emotions. You see, Kathryn has an absurdly powerful mind, which isn't always good for her. She didn't believe that you'd actually want to save her after what happened with the Weeping Angels, and what she told you about her childhood friend, and after she formed the opinion that she was only a charity case to you."

"Cardiff is tenth on the list of largest Rifts!" the Doctor protested. "I had hundreds of times and planets to search before I would have gotten here!"

"She had no way of knowing that," Thought said simply. "All she knew was that the man she just sold herself for didn't really care about her to begin with. I turned the emotions of anger and hurt back on her, a repeating loop. She'll be out for a bit."

"What are you thinking of doing with her?"

"Whatever I feel like," Thought said. "I will continuously consume her mind for the rest of her potentially endless life. You should be grateful; I know what she was built for, and it's not pretty or beneficial for any of us. Trust me. Everyone and everything in time and space is safer if I take her Doctor, most of all you."

"I don't care," the Doctor replied, his voice hard. Most others became terrified when he was this angry, but Thought wasn't even bothered. "She's my friend, and you can't have her."

"But I will," Thought grinned. "Kathryn is an amazing find. She can survive the Rift, has an incredible capacity for emotions, and willingly gave herself over. She's my prey, and I plan to ravish her."

The Doctor's mind raced. He had to do something. But there was nothing. Thought had already explained his reasons as to why he wanted Kathryn. Reasons that, however twisted, made sense. And they'd made a deal. The Doctor knew how Thought's type made deals; they always won. He couldn't reach Kathryn, and without that there was no way to remove Thought from his anchor.

There was a bright flash, and before the Doctor could blink Thought was gone, and Kathryn with him.

"No!" The Doctor felt as though a hot poker had been run through his chest, then an icicle. She was only fifteen. Fifteen, and she'd just traded herself so that he could run. How could…and why? What exactly had she handed herself over for? Had she even understood exactly what was going to happen to her? She'd be a shell in a year, maybe two.

"Although, there is one thing."

The Doctor looked up at the reappeared Thought, surprised to find himself kneeling on the beach. Out of his peripheries the Doctor could see Kathryn passed out on the sand, still caught in her emotional feedback.

The Doctor focused on Thought, standing. "What is it?"

The eyes of the demon that looked like him glittered. "I want access."

"Access?"

"You aren't the first Time Lord I've met, not by a long shot," Thought explained. "I've tried to take one of you before, oh believe me I have tried. It nearly killed me the last time, and I hadn't even broken through the second layer of defenses." Thought grinned. The Doctor wondered absently if it was just as annoying when he did it. "But now I've got you."

Realization dawned on the Doctor's face. "This was the goal all along," he said as everything clicked. "I'd entered Kathryn's mind…not even an hour before we found the Rift planet. You saw that and knew what it meant, that there was a way to connect to a Time Lord's memories. You got drunk on the sliver Kathryn had gathered by accident."

"It wasn't difficult to set up." Thought's mouth curved scornfully. "You're so attached to the people you take with you, so attached to this girl; I knew you'd come to save her eventually. All I had to do was toy with her, dangle her over the edge." The glittering eyes narrowed and hardened. "And I'll continue to do so."

"Unless I lower the walls I've spent nine hundred years building and let you have me instead."

"You're a Time Lord!" Thought exclaimed. "The last of your kind!"

His eyes flicked to Kathryn's prostrate form and back to the Doctor so quickly that the Doctor nearly missed the look. "I'll never find another like you again Doctor; no one has such feelings of pain, loss, regret, sorrow, hate, joy, gain, hope, excitement, and love as a Time Lord. Oh, Kathryn has more than usual, that I'll give her. Strength of mind and feeling, and such possibilities to explore in the future." Thought waved his hands dismissively. "But even she can't compare to what you'll have."

The Doctor kept his expression calm. "What happens if I decide not to let you in?"

"You will."

"But if I didn't?"

"Then I'll keep Kathryn. I've put a lot of effort into her and as I said she's special, one of a kind. Nearly as amazing as you are, definitely a novelty. But her? I can find her in a heartbeat. You? You can hide. But you won't. You can't let fifteen year old girl who loves you desperately live in hell while you frolic about the stars. That's not what you are, Doctor."

The Doctor stood, listening to the waves, smelling salt and sand and fear. His mind spun trying to see a way out. Yet, no matter how hard he looked or how he looked at it, there was no other way to do this. He'd hoped to use Kathryn's mind as a battle ground. It would have been easier to win. In his own mind, fighting himself and Thought at once?

His first instinct was, of course, to save his friend. But he had no guarantee of protecting his mind and his secrets once he let Thought in. Was it wise to give the Knowledge of the Time Lords to such a creature? Nothing would be impossible or safe if the Doctor was under the control of something else, even minimally. And the Doctor had no doubt that Thought's warnings about Kathryn were true. The Doctor still didn't know what she was for, only that it was wrong and unnatural. If she lived, anything could happen.

This might be one of those horrible, crushing times when the Doctor had to protect time rather than a friend. Thought was too good, had planned too well, had seen too far ahead. The Doctor had met creatures that were pure consciousness before. Thought had had four months to latch himself into Kathryn's brain, and the Doctor had no way to get to her and keep her from Thought if he refused.

Suddenly it became very simple. Kathryn was fifteen. The scene in her greenhouse, the fractured soul and cracking mind would never stop, and he couldn't do that to her. He loved her too much to let that happen.

"Will she be safe?"

Thought's eyes narrowed with the knowledge of victory. "She will be taken back to TORCHWOOD. They'll help her back onto her feet. Your TARDIS will still be here; she can take it and fly away if that's her wish."

"And me?"

"That's my choice."

The Doctor drew in a deep breath, absorbing the sea. "Alright then." The Doctor and Thought locked eyes. "Search me."

The Doctor inhaled sharply as memories he hadn't even remembered he had were brought to the surface, then pushed back into their drawers. Starting with the day, the very minute that he'd been born, Thought plowed his way through the Doctor's memories, feelings, emotions, desires, highs, lows, everything. The Doctor felt exposed in a way that hadn't happened since his initiation when he was eight, something Thought took an extra instant to linger over.

The Doctor felt all the emotions, the fear, the want—no, the need to run well up again, but stronger. He could see clearly the endless nothing and the continuing everything, heard the other Time Lords and their children, saw the long hallway of the school, the open field where the Un-Tempered Schism had resided.

"No!"

Thought was ripped from the Doctor's mind and the Doctor fell to his hands and knees on the sand, weak from recollection and emotion. He looked up to see Thought with an expression of total shock and confusion on his face.

"What?"

A movement to the side made the Doctor glance over. He was surprised to see Kathryn trying to push herself up off the wet sand.

"Are you really trying to push back?" Thought asked mockingly. "Really?"

"I…I won't let you have him," she forced out.

Thought flinched and touched his face, staring aghast at his hand. Blood flowed down his cheek as he looked at Kathryn as she swayed heavily, barely able to stand. "How are you doing that?"

"You…you can't have him," Kathryn repeated, short of breath. She looked extremely tired and fully energized at the same time. Thought studied her, then slowly smiled.

"You really think to fight me, Kavrin?"

The Doctor watched silently as Thought instantly changed from a carbon copy of him to that of a teenage boy wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. A dark stain on the shirt spoke of great amounts of blood to match what was flowing from the hole in his head and the scratches on his cheek.

"You already killed me once, Deering," the boy said, his voice soft as though reasoning with a friend. "You did it to save yourself; it's too late to start saving others. You can't do it Deering; you can't. Just accept what the Doctor is doing, as you should have done with me. It's your fault I'm dead, Genora. Your fault the Doctor is like this now. Stop before you kill someone else."

Kathryn closed her eyes, shaking and swaying so much the Doctor was amazed she hadn't fallen. "Leave me alone, Buck. Leave me alone."

"I'm the thing that you base every decision on; I can't leave you alone Deering."

Kathryn's eyes opened again, almost seeming to glow. "I'm not what I used to be Buck. I was a snake, but I've grown. Leave…me…alone."

The boy jerked, a hand flying to his side. He looked down at the new bullet hole in shock and…was that terror?

"How did you do that?" Thought snarled, the voice now literally crackling with electricity. "That's not part of your memory of his death."

Another hole appeared in his leg and he gasped. Kathryn lurched forward a step, standing a little steadier.

"You should know Thought," she said, voice rough with pain. "You taught it to me."

His head snapped backwards and a black-eye showed. Thought retreated but Kathryn followed, slow yet gaining her balance. "Mix and match, match and mix," she chanted as Thought reacted to yet more wounds. "You did that to me, using a bit of this, a dash of that to put me through flames. Well guess what else you told me?" she hissed, tapping her forehead. "I'm strong Thought. If I think it and feel it and use it I can make you experience it. Isn't that how it works Thought? Memories live again for the first time!"

Thought rapidly shifted to the appearance of the Doctor again. He fell backwards to the sand and Kathryn kept coming. Light was starting to dance around her, purple and silver curling around her body like trained serpents. She was standing tall now, the slow speed of her walk one of control.

"You almost won Thought. You were so close, but you know what your mistake was? You dug too deep. You pushed in too far, Thought. You used my human past against me, viewed me that way, beat me that way.

"But you know what? I'm not human. I'm not Time Lord. I'm not Weeping Angel. I'm not Jahra, I'm not anything you've ever seen before. You've looked into my head and seen what I am and ignored it, and that's what's killing you now Thought."

"Then what are you Kathryn?" Thought wheezed, using the Doctor's voice, trying to force Kathryn to feel as though she were killing her friend. "What are you really? Because I have seen it," Thought challenged. "I know what you are and what you will be, even in your own eyes. I know what you think of yourself Kathryn. What are you?"

Kathryn crouched down in front of Thought, staring hard at him. The purple and silver serpents grew longer and slithered out, twirling around the two of them.

"I am power itself."

Thought's eyes widened as the purple and silver rushed over him, spinning about him like electrons around a nucleus. "You'll kill him," he gasped out. "You know that. The Rahki will reclaim you, he'll die, the universe will shred, and it will be your fault because you didn't let yourself die."

"I'd rather live what you showed me and have him dead by my hand than let you have him for one—more—second."

"Why? Why would you do that? Risk everything…"

"You study and consume minds but you'll never understand it Thought." She stood slowly, looking down on him. "I send you to your death never knowing."

In a great flash of light, Thought disintegrated.

* * *

The Doctor stood, watching Kathryn carefully. He'd never seen something like this before, had only once seen a consciousness torn down when it wasn't using someone's body. The Doctor came to stand next to Kathryn. Only when he was close to her did he see her trembling.

She turned her head towards him, grinning slightly. "Told you I was good."

Her eyes rolled backwards and she fainted. The Doctor caught her awkwardly, shifted her in his arms, and carried her back to TARDIS.


	10. Chapter 10

Everything was made of disjointed words and streaks of garish light. Funny, everything seemed to bend in towards her. She felt dizzy from the spinning.

"Jo."

A word that made sense. Did it apply to her? She couldn't really remember.

"Jo, can you hear me?"

Kathryn blinked a few times, the world starting to make sense. A face came into focus.

"Toshiko?" Kathryn looked at the ceiling behind Tosh's head. "Why are you in TARDIS?"

"The Doctor let us in," Toshiko explained. "How are you feeling?"

Kathryn thought about that for a moment. "Like I tried to wrestle with a Weevil carrying a sledgehammer. I think I lost."

"She's fine."

Kathryn closed her eyes again. "Thank you for your concern Owen."

"Think you can stand yet?"

"Probably," Kathryn said, struggling to sit up. A hand appeared in front of her face and she grabbed it, accepting the help up. Kathryn wobbled slightly and someone helped steady her. She looked up to thank them and found herself looking at the Doctor. She stared into his eyes for a moment, not sure what she was thinking. Then a wave of craving swept over her and she looked over the Doctor's shoulder.

"Jack, do you mind backing up about two large steps?"

Jack did as told before asking, "Why did I just do that?"

"Have you ever seen a starving person fight for food?"

He nodded. For a second or two the console room was silent.

"So now that this thing is gone," Gwen asked suddenly, "does this mean it's alright for you to stay permanently, or are you leaving?"

Kathryn blinked, looking at Gwen's face, sensing the others around her as she thought about the statement.

"I think it's time for me to leave Gwyneth."

"Does this mean I get my workstation back on Tuesdays?"

"I love you too Owen," Kathryn said dryly. She looked back to the Doctor, not quite meeting his eyes. "I just need to pack some of the things I've collected. Be back in an hour."

* * *

Kathryn actually didn't have a great deal of stuff she wanted to keep. The biggest chore was disposing of the more deadly chemicals she'd had to use over the past four months.

_Has it really only been four?_ she wondered as she retrieved her messenger bag. It felt like so much longer. Another way of life, really, one she'd grown rather fond of. She might never be back.

Kathryn smiled lightly. At least she'd get to say goodbye to this family.

* * *

Back in long sleeves and gloves, Kathryn stood in the TORCHWOOD Three Hub's main room.

"You're sure you won't stay?"

Kathryn smiled at Tosh. "After all your work at putting the chip together? No, my ride's here and it's time for me to be off. That thing won't be back, so there's one less worry for you. Speaking of the chip, did you manage to get it sent off?"

"I think it found its own way, actually," Tosh said. "We put the wallet together, stuck the chip in it and attached it to the Doctor's Key so that it could have a signal. TARDIS arrived and the wallet vanished with the chip."

Kathryn winked. "Time takes care of itself very well, doesn't it? Where'd the money in the wallet come from, by the way? I spent most of what I came with on Tuesday things."

"We took it out of your salary," Ianto said. Kathryn looked at him questioningly.

"My salary? Since when have you paid me?"

"Ever since you got off probation," Jack answered her. "Seemed fair."

"And you couldn't have told me sooner?"

"What would you have done with it?"

"Tuesdays."

Kathryn smiled at Tosh.

"See you around."

"Wait a moment," Owen suddenly said. Kathryn looked up at him at caught a tube he tossed to her. She looked at it curiously.

"What is this?"

"The originals of the paintings we showed you when you first came," Tosh answered for the group. "We've had them for a bit. It seemed right."

"For the record," Owen interjected, "I had nothing to do with it. It was Tosh's idea."

Kathryn smiled again at Tosh, this time sadly. "Thank you." Kathryn gave Tosh's shoulder a quick squeeze, the closest Kathryn could ever really get to a hug.

Kathryn quickly got into TARDIS before could start crying.

The Doctor started the engines. Kathryn stood awkwardly on the other side of the console, not sure if she should be helping him.

"Anywhere you want to go?" the Doctor asked suddenly, not really looking at her.

"Someplace quiet," Kathryn answered instantly. The Doctor nodded, somewhat absently.

"Good." He glanced up at her, a sort of a smile playing around his mouth. "That's where I was going anyway."

* * *

Kathryn couldn't keep the grin off her face when she knew they'd landed. She knew the Doctor was finding it amusing, but she didn't care. It had been a while since she'd been to another planet. Dashing to the door in anticipation, she pulled up short when the Doctor gave a sharp whistle. She looked over her shoulder at him to see what was up.

The Doctor was leaning against the console. He pointed a bit off to the side, then crossed his arms as Kathryn turned to look at the coatrack.

"No leaving without your Key."

Kathryn reclaimed her Key, looking at it for a long moment before putting it back around her neck. She turned towards the Doctor and put her hands on her hips. "Am I allowed to leave the house now?" she asked, purposefully acting her age.

"Now that you're properly dressed, you may," the Doctor answered, playing along. Kathryn smiled and went outside.

She stopped a few feet from the door, standing perfectly still. The Doctor exited TARDIS and stood next to her. Kathryn looked up at him, dripping wet.

"It's raining."

"Of course it's raining," the Doctor answered cheerfully, already soaked. "This is the Arsil system, planet Groxi 9, earth year 80,678. It's just after dawn, and the year's biggest storm is going to be right on top of us in one minute and…ten seconds."

Kathryn looked around at the landscape. The thick blue green grass and the redwood-like trees made her think of the Pacific Coast line. "I take it that it often rains here."

"It's a meteorologist's worst nightmare, or greatest dream depending on the man," the Doctor confirmed. "The nights are clear as anything, with a minimum of ten moons at any time of the year. The sun is so hot and the planet so wet that the sun evaporates the water into clouds before you can even see it. Every day, without fail, it rains hard and just stops at night. The multiple moons reflect and amplify the sunlight to such an extent that the plants grow by moonlight instead of sunlight. Sunrise is downright dull, but moonrise is always magnificent."

"What time is it now?"

"We have a few hours before moonrise." The Doctor grinned at her. "Care to take a hike?"

"Can I sit in a tree and ride out the storm?"

"Yes."

"Then lead the way."

* * *

The Doctor and Kathryn were at the top of a gigantic tree. The top swayed, bending thrillingly as lightning lanced about everywhere, drawing split-second patterns in the sky.

The Doctor looked above his head to where Kathryn had molded herself to a branch. She was staring out at everything with rapture, watching the purple lightning flash. The air crackled with electricity, but not as much as it could have. Kathryn, recently drained from…whatever had happened on the beach, was refueling. More than once lightning had been diverted and hit her. The Doctor had been worried the first time, but Kathryn just said it tingled and hadn't hurt.

The Doctor had always liked this planet. It left you alone with your thoughts and memories, but didn't leave you abandoned to them. It was a good planet to come to if you needed to sort out a problem.

The Doctor's problem, as it had always seemed to be for the past four months, was Kathryn. Trust wasn't the issue. It never had been. But his brain couldn't let go of the puzzle that she was, even if she refused to pay any attention to it. Her creators, the Rahki, had made her different than other Jahra. Her creator's greatest enemies, the Krize, knew she existed and had even paid attention to the fact. The Jahra network had been told to look for her. She was smart. She stored energy. She was dangerous and secretive and clever. She was young and impetuous and passionate and killed too easily. She was old and calculating and serious and tried so hard to save.

Kathryn was loyal and brave and strong. She was always ready—too ready—to die for others and smiled easily and showed no pain. She was deep about some things and shallow about others. She was quirky without care and watched to be careful about what people thought. She dressed to look nice and played in mud puddles. She insisted she came from nowhere and claimed America as her home. She was gentle with young children and sharp with anyone her own age. She'd been heralded as an angel and attacked as a demon. She'd had songs written about her and curses created for her.

Kathryn was one of the greatest oxymoronic figures the Doctor had ever come across in his very, very, very long life. He didn't understand what she was, who she was, _why_ she was.

So why did he always feel like he was watching a moving reflection?

The Doctor was worried that when he found out, Kathryn would leave, and he didn't know if he'd be able to live with that loss.

* * *

The storm finally died down. Eleven moons appeared all over the sky, many of them full or nearly so. The entire forest was floodlit with pale blue moonlight.

Kathryn suddenly flipped down in front of the Doctor's face, hanging off the branch over his head by her knees. She held her messenger bag in her hands, the lanyard for her Key laced in her fingers so she wouldn't drop it.

"So what exactly happened on that beach?" she asked bluntly. It seemed that now that the storm was passed, she wanted answers. The Doctor had expected this, and had planned accordingly.

"Best guess is that some part of your programming unlocked because you had enough demand for it."

"Clarify," Kathryn demanded.

"You store energy," the Doctor answered plainly. "That's extremely dangerous for a living storage unit without a way to expend it. I don't think you were supposed to be back in your Jahra form so soon, which is why you didn't know about the outlet sooner. I think it's still going to be inaccessible for a while." The Doctor frowned. "Where's your DNA transporter?

"I slung it into the sea," Kathryn said with an open look. The Doctor was perplexed.

"I know it's burnt out, but usually you cling to it."

"Thought wouldn't accept me until he was certain I would only have one owner. So I tossed it. Nearly did the same thing with my lunch, but that ended up happening later. Hey, do you have a lot of experience with foretelling futures?"

The Doctor blinked, surprised by the sudden topic change. Kathryn lifted herself up and dropped onto the branch the Doctor was on. They sat side by side, legs dangling over the edge.

"I've run into fortune tellers, some better than others, yes," the Doctor told her. "Why?"

"Have you ever dodged the bullet?" Kathryn asked, putting her affects back on. "Prophecy-wise, I mean."

"Usually the dodging was what brought it on. Again, why?"

Kathryn shrugged, looking out into the moonlight-bathed woods. "Some of the stuff Thought said made me think, that's all."

They sat in silence for a moment before the Doctor spoke. "I almost watched you give up your life for me."

"You were going to do the same."

"I've lived more of my life than you have yours."

"I would have lived. I can't die, remember?"

"It wouldn't really have been living," the Doctor said. Neither of them looked at the other for fear of what they might see in the other's face. "Why would you even put yourself in such a spot?"

"Because I had to."

The simplicity in Kathryn's tone took the Doctor off guard. Did she still feel that she owed him something? Or was there something else that had brought on her actions?

Kathryn changed the subject, though it was really the same. "What do you think he meant, that stuff about the Rahki finding me and the universe dying."

"Oh, probably just a last attempt at saving himself."

"You don't really believe that."

"Someone like you isn't made on a whim, Kathryn. It takes careful planning and a lot of tests. You're special in more ways than one, and some day they'll come searching for you."

"You know, you could just say, 'Yes Kathryn, I really do think the lying rattler wanted to cheat death.'"

"If you don't want the honest answer, don't press for it." The Doctor sighed through his nose. "Besides, you already seem to know. What did he show you that was so terrible he tried to save himself with it?"

Kathryn considered her answer for a moment before giving the Doctor an enigmatic smile. "Nothing we can't handle when we get there."

The Doctor smiled. "Alright. Just give me the heads up when we arrive."

"Will do."

They sat in the quiet again. Birds flew past silently, animals moved far below them, and wind moved gently through the trees' branches. The Doctor heard Kathryn sigh softly and decided that if he didn't question now, he'd never be able to.

"What made you do it?" he asked, breaking the silence. "Pull yourself up and attack Thought."

"I couldn't stand to see someone I love get hurt," Kathryn answered without thinking. Her eyes opened wide as she heard herself and she rushed to explain. "I don't mean I love love you."

"Of course not," the Doctor agreed, understanding her awkwardness all too well.

"It was more a family situation, uncle-niece kind of thing."

"Yeah, course."

"I mean, you're like, ancient. And skinny. Way too skinny. And full of yourself. And really, really old. With way too many clothes in your closet."

"Thank you for the list of faults," the Doctor said dryly.

"You're rather rude sometimes. And nine-hundred! Gosh, I never really thought about how old that is. That's like…half of recorded history during the time period I come from."

"You can stop now."

"No wonder Floyd thinks you smell weird. Old people usually smell funny."

"Hang on a moment;" the Doctor cut in. "Floyd thinks I smell odd?"

"Yeah."

"Your _plant_ thinks I smell odd."

Kathryn nodded. "Yeah. So do the other ones. The whole greenhouse doesn't like you."

"What have I ever done to your plants?"

"Most recently you didn't feed them while I was gone. Stretching back, they think you're rude to me and put me in dangerous situations all the time. And that you can't have a good conversation."

"I put you in dangerous situations?" the Doctor stressed. "What have you been telling them?"

"Oh, not me," Kathryn said quickly. "TARDIS chats with them."

The Doctor stared at Kathryn, his mouth open. "Your greenhouse talks to my ship?"

"She's not your ship, but yes." When he continued to stare at her, she gave him a look. "What? They get bored waiting for us to come back from where ever we've gone."

The Doctor looked back at the forest, trying to absorb that last fact.

A heartbeat later, Kathryn spoke again. "You'll always come looking for me, yah?"

The Doctor turned to face Kathryn, hearing the depth and vulnerability in the frail question. He smiled. "Yes Kathryn. I'll always come looking for you. Promise."

Kathryn looked up through a space in the trees at the stars, a pleased smile on her face. She frowned suddenly. "I need a phone."

"A phone?"

"A phone with a speed dial to TARDIS, and then I'm going to memorize her number." Kathryn looked at the Doctor. "I am not getting stuck on a planet for four months again. Do you have any idea how frustrating it was to be stuck in one time and place after running around the universe, yet be surrounded by extraterrestrial stuff? I nearly went off my rocker more than once."

"I was exiled for three years on Earth once," the Doctor answered with a shrug in his voice. "TARDIS was sabotaged so she couldn't move at all."

"How did you manage to stay sane?"

"Oh, I kept busy. I worked for humans, actually. A group called UNIT. I imagine I'll meet them again someday, considering how often I visit Earth." The Doctor tilted his head back, remembering. "I wore rather fancy dress during that regeneration; opera capes and velvet suits with lace cuffs and silk scarves. Very posh. But I had this beautiful yellow car. Named her Bessie. Still miss her."

"Bessie is a good name for a car." Kathryn shifted over a little closer to the Doctor, tilting her head so it nearly touched his shoulder. The Doctor sensed that for the first time she really felt safe with him, not just physically, but deep in her hearts. "So, Old Man of Time," she said teasing him lightly. "Show me where we're going next."

The Doctor smiled and pointed upwards through the trees. "I think that one right…there."


End file.
